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Something to offend everyone

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by big pappa b, Aug 6, 2003.

  1. big pappa b

    big pappa b 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Falcon, Colorado
    >What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.
    >
    >What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
    >
    >What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the
    >dirt bag.
    >
    >Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.
    >
    >What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts.
    >
    >Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not
    >getting any.
    >
    >What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
    >
    >What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
    >
    >What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs.
    >
    >What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes.
    >
    >What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp
    >knife.
    >
    >Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.
    >
    >Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
    >good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
    >
    >What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year,
    >thedog is still excited to see you.
    >
    >What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same
    >urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
    >
    >Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton
    >balls.
    >
    >What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the
    >pricks on the outside.
    >
    >What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure
    >it's mine?"
    >
    >Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you.
    >
    >Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same
    >DNA.
    >
    >Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes.
    >
    >Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo."
    >
    >Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
    >
    >Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex
    >Ed
    >class uses it.
    >
    >Where does an Irish family go on vacation? To visit a different bar.
    >
    >Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named
    >him "Sum Ting Wong"
    >
    >What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
    >A
    >speech impediment.
    >
    >What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
    >They're hiring.
    >
    >What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern
    >zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with...
    >"a recipe".
    >
    >How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get
    >another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
    >
    >What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
    >fairytale?
    >A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale
    >begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this [I love Jeeps]..."
    >
    >Why is there no Disneyland in China? No one's tall enough to go on the good
    >rides
     
  2. Chevit

    Chevit 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    dnaltroP, nogerO
    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  3. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    Location:
    Salem, Or.
    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  4. Confedneck

    Confedneck 3/4 ton status

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    Location:
    Lehigh Acres, Florida
    you wanted to offend everyone? you left out african americans...
    so what word starts with an N and ends with an R that you wouldnt wanna call a trashy black person?




    Neighbor...
     
  5. ChevyHuny

    ChevyHuny 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2001
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    Location:
    Washington State
    [ QUOTE ]
    >What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
    >A
    >speech impediment.

    [/ QUOTE ]
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif My moms side of the family is all Italian and that statement would be very true lol.
     
  6. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2000
    Posts:
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    Location:
    portland oregon
    i am not offended /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     

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