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SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Chevit, Mar 5, 2004.

  1. Chevit

    Chevit 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2001
    Posts:
    1,492
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    Location:
    dnaltroP, nogerO
    What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

    Juan on Juan.
    ****************************************************************
    What is a Yankee?

    The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
    ***************************************************************
    What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

    The position of the dirt bag.
    ****************************************************************
    Why is divorce so expensive?

    Because it's worth it.
    *****************************************************************
    *****************************************************************
    What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

    Doughnuts.
    ******************************************************************
    Why is air a lot like sex?

    Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

    *******************************************************************
    Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely?

    Because Janet Reno is her real father.
    ********************************************************************
    ***********************************************************************
    What do you call a smart blonde?

    A golden retriever.
    ***********************************************************************
    What do attorneys use for birth control?

    Their personalities.
    ***********************************************************************
    What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

    45 lbs.
    ***********************************************************************
    What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

    45 minutes.
    ***********************************************************************
    How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

    None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
    ***********************************************************************
    What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

    Through his chest with a sharp knife.
    ***********************************************************************
    Why do men want to marry virgins?

    They can't stand criticism.
    ***********************************************************************
    Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
    good-looking?

    Because those men already have boyfriends.
    ***********************************************************************
    What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

    After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
    ***********************************************************************
    What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

    The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of

    driving.
    ***********************************************************************
    A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade.

    Who has the biggest boobs?

    The blonde, because she's 18.
    ***********************************************************************
    Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?

    Because they have cotton balls.
    ***********************************************************************
    What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?

    A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
    ***********************************************************************
    What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

    "Are you sure it's mine?"
    ***********************************************************************
    What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?

    Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
    ***********************************************************************
    Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

    Mace will do that to you.
    ***********************************************************************
    Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?

    Everyone has the same DNA.
    ***********************************************************************
    Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

    Breasts don't have eyes.
    ***********************************************************************
    Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?

    He walks around saying "Yo."
    ***********************************************************************
    Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
    Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

    Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
    ***********************************************************************
    What's the Cuban National Anthem?

    "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
    **************************************************************************
    Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

    A different bar.
    *******************************************************************
    What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
    other?

    A speech impediment.
    ***********************************************************************
    What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
    half-mast?

    They're hiring.
    ***********************************************************************
    What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

    A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
    along with... "a recipe".
    ***********************************************************************
    How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?

    Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
    ***********************************************************************
    What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
    fairytale?


    A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale
    begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe
    this [darn]..."
    ***********************************************************************
    My, my, how times have changed.
    Years ago...When 100 white men chased one black man,
    we called it the Ku Klux Klan; today they call it the PGA TOUR!!.
    ***********************************************************************
    Why is there no Disneyland in China?

    No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
     
  2. BlazerGuy

    BlazerGuy 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2000
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    Location:
    abcde
    <---wipes spewed coffee off of screen

    Damn, that was some funny sh!t! /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  3. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2002
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    20,073
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    0
    Location:
    Salem, Or.
    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  4. bigburban383

    bigburban383 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2003
    Posts:
    1,242
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    Location:
    Michigan, Royal Oak
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/1zhelp.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  5. OrangeCrushK10

    OrangeCrushK10 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Square State + Suspension Item
    I am outraged! I can't believe how narrow minded you people are! You should be ashamed! /forums/images/graemlins/shame.gif




























    I mean, I own a BMW and I'm just full of fun! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    Granted, my BMW is also 25 yrs old.


    Keep up the laughs guys! /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif


    ~Nick Beckius
    '79 BMW 528i
    '79 Chevy LUV with 350 v8
    '80 Chevy K10 (That big ugly Orange thing)
    '80 Honda CB650 motorcycle (Hey, for $130 I couldn't say "No" to it, Honda or not!)
     
  6. Tweetysuarus

    Tweetysuarus 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Lynnhood,WA
    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
    Bill
     

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