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Speaking of St. Peter.....

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Desert Rat, Feb 15, 2006.

  1. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    Paul did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. Soon, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe standing in front of his bed. "What the hell are you doing in my bedroom...and who are you?"he asked.

    This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter,and you are in heaven."

    "WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young," said Paul. "I want you to send me back immediately."

    "It's not that easy", said St. Peter. "You can only return as a dog or a hen. The choice is your own."

    Paul thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad.

    "I want to return as a hen," Paul replied.

    And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow.

    Then along came the rooster.

    "Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about," he said "How do you like being a hen?"

    "Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my ass is about to explode."

    "Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. You need to lay an egg."

    "How do I do that?" Paul asked.

    "Cluck twice, and then you push all you can."

    Paul clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then 'plop' an egg was on the ground.

    "Wow" Paul said. "That felt really good!" So he clucked again and squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground.

    The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: "Paul, for Christ's sake!
    Wake up! You're ****tin' all over the bed"
     
  2. Jagged

    Jagged 1 ton status

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    That's the hardest I've laughed in weeks.
     
  3. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    Gawdammit,I'm trying to eat..:haha: :haha: :haha:
     
  4. Cricket

    Cricket 3/4 ton status

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    I'm completely confused by the whole St Penis bit but the joke was great.
     
  5. Capman2k

    Capman2k 3/4 ton status

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    :confused:
     
  6. Cricket

    Cricket 3/4 ton status

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    C'mon Capman, Peter/Penis. Get it? :doah:
     
  7. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

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    What was that sound? Oh, nothing, just your name getting scratched off ol' St. Peters list up there at the pearly gates......I can see it now:

    "Jiminycricket thinks he's funny, eh? Compares me to a dink, eh? HERE!!!!"

    *scratches a name off of page 144582*

    "Who's the penis now???"






    :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
     
  8. Cricket

    Cricket 3/4 ton status

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    Pah, the pearly gates are overated.

    I'll take having a beer with you over that gig any day.
     
  9. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Let's just say, one of these days Gerri is gonna have a heart attack......:wink1: :thumb:
     
  10. Cricket

    Cricket 3/4 ton status

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    I better get her insured soon. :D
     

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