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Step kids anyone?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by newyorkin, May 1, 2004.

  1. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    Egad, my step daughter is frustrating. I can't smack her and I can't yell at her too much, but man I swear she has permanant residency in space. GR$@#O$*&()E*R&W(Er&(#prfwehdslkjhslekruy$(*&*$%(#*&%z(#$*&%z

    She lives with her dad, we get her on weekends.
    She's 9, has absolutely no discipline, attention span, manners, or self-control. My wife thinks she has spina bifida, so that makes it triply frustrating; she may actually just be this way medically, so wanting to smack her isn't going to help... But man, they could've put just a little more effort into teaching her some social manners. She's so friggin mean to her sister and brother, they start being mean.


    Ahhh well, just wanted to bitch for a minute.


    Anyone else have similar frustrations?
     
  2. SUBFAN

    SUBFAN 1/2 ton status

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    Gotta go, but will write more later....

    The split families can be very frustrating....There is a night and day difference between my boys (raised by wife #1) and my daughter from #2 that I am raising.

    There are always different parenting styles/expectations. Just try and make the most of the time you do have with her. The worst thing you can do, is have two sets of rules in your house. The step-daughter needs to adhere to the exact same rules that yours do. Eventually she will learn to fit in.

    Things will be back to normal pretty soon, when the weekend is over /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif
     
  3. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    wow,that sucks. my step son is 16 now and was 8 when i met my wife.and the only thing he did wrong was light and flick matches in his room.he was 8 at the time and one of my friends sons (who was 13 at the time showed him how to do it).other than that he's so good it's almost scary. i was born with the -little bastards mischef kit-.what does spina bifida cause? it's tough but remember she's just a child,your the adult so use patience. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/k5.gifto /forums/images/graemlins/truck.gif
     
  4. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    Uh Ratch, I think if she had spia bifida you'd know it.... /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif
    Spina Bifida
    Spina bifida is one of the most common birth defects compatible with life. Technically it means an open spinal column, but has come to specifically relate to those instances when not only is the spinal column open, but the spinal cord is incompletely formed and is exposed to the air, the aperta form. The much more common form is the closed or occulta f orm which is probably of little significance and seen widely in the population, The spinal cord forms in the first few weeks of gestation. In addition to genetic and environmental associations, it is felt that folate deficiency may be an underlying factor in its development. Besides the failure of the spinal cord to form and close properly, other defects can occur in the development of the nervous system. These include hydrocephalus, syringohydromyelia and Chiari malformations. In addition there are poten tial disturbances with the bowel and bladder function, both extremity and spine related problems and respiratory and swallowing difficulties. These problems are due wholly or in part to the disturbance in the nervous system.

    The diagnosis can of ten be made on the basis of a high resolution ultrasound or elevation of maternal alpha fetal protein levels. Other times it is not recognized until birth. It is widely accepted that most children born with spina bifida should be aggressively treated both medically and surgically. Recommendations are for early closure of the back and spinal cord as well as management of hydrocephalus if indicated. The important thing to realize is that this operation is designed specifically to prevent infection or ongoin g trauma to the exposed spinal cord and not to return function which is not present at birth. This is not an insignificant distinction. Hydrocephalus is usually present in @80-90% of children with spina bifida and should b e treated when determined, usually before discharge from the hospital.

    As many different parts of the body and nervous system are potentially involved, the child will need to see numerous physicians and therapists for follow up. In addition to physical therapy and early intervention, the child may need treatment for incontinence as well as bracing for the legs or spine. In many areas of the country this follow up is provided through multidisciplinary spina bifida clinics. These clinics are staff ed by the various physicians and therapists whose specialties pertain to the treatment of spina bifida.

    Another entity which is common in children with spina bifida is known as Chiari Malformation. There are different forms of Chiari malformations, but most are either Type I or Type II. To simplify things, all children with spina bifida have some degree of Type II malformation. The thing to realize, is that while it is present radiographically it may not be causing the child any symptoms and therefor does not necessarily need to be treated. Often a parent will call up anxiously when they read a routine MRI report only to find that some strange malformation that they never heard of is present in their child. The truth is that it has always been present but never commented on. The type of symptoms that can occur with Chiari malformations include repeated aspirations, apnea, neck pains, and complaints of weakness or funny sensations in the arms. Usually, surgic al treatment for Chiari malformations is reserved for those children with clear evidence of progressive symptoms not for findings on an MRI.

    Of course the most important question is "will my child be normal?" The answer is a bit compli cated but in general most children are competitive both physically and mentally. The majority will be of normal or above normal intelligence. The majority will be ambulatory without assistance but may require significant bracing or wheelchairs. The majori ty will be incontinent but socially continent ...
     
  5. beater_k20

    beater_k20 Banned

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    ok, can we get that in english now?
     
  6. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    I shouldn't be rattling stuff like that off, I'm not totally clear on what my wife thinks it is... But reading that, it does kinda sound like what she's been saying. I don't remmeber what my wife said, but I think there was some big ordeal about her spine. The kid also has a huge dimple at the base of her spine.

    [ QUOTE ]
    The much more common form is the closed or occulta f orm which is probably of little significance and seen widely in the population,

    [/ QUOTE ] ^--- I think this is what my wife talks about. She's sleeping, so I can't ask her and I dunno if she'd smack me for airing this on the 'net, but I know a huge buzzword for her has been Spina Bifida, and she's researched it like a lawyer, and told me stuff kinda like that about her birth.

    One of her doctors mentioned "spina bifida" when my step daughter, Sara, was born, and the primary doctor shut him up and said he didn't know what he was talking about. She then had many symptoms of hydrocephalis over the years, but the doctors didn't really acknowledge or pursue it. At some point in her 9 years, though, doctors wanted to permanantly put a tube from her skull to her stomach (I think it was stomach) to drain the water, but her father said no. My wife was pretty young at the time, so probably had too much faith in doctors and trusted everything they said.
    The last couple years, we've been able to get better "custody", and in last year have gotten the father to look closer at hydrocephalis and take Sara to different dr.s. The last doctor sara saw recommended she see a specialist that was more experienced with Spina Bifida/Hydrocephalis kids.

    [ QUOTE ]
    ...These include hydrocephalus, syringohydromyelia and Chiari malformations. In addition there are poten tial disturbances with the bowel and bladder function, both extremity and spine related problems and respiratory and swallowing difficulties. These problems are due wholly or in part to the disturbance in the nervous system.


    [/ QUOTE ]
    The poor kid has a laundry list of ailments, alot that can stem from SB;
    terrible eyesight, recently got a tube in her ear to improve her hearing, deformed extremeties, drastic underbite, trouble with bladder control, apnea, terrible respiratory (if it weren't medical, that would be friggin annoying), and a dozen other symptoms my wife researched. I've woken up at night dreaming of freight trains, then realized it was sara snoring...

    I can't say anything for sure, but my wife is very convinced Sara has Hydrocephalis resulting from SB. To be completely honest, I have barely if at all researched it. I have plenty of faith in my wife knowing what she's doing, and pretty much all I've researched on it has been what she's given me, and I forget much of that...

    It's a pretty wierd situation, but I guess we should be thankful we get to have her on weekends at all. There're just those moments when you want to break a window, right around when you hear the third whiney "I'm telling on you" from the other room...
     
  7. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    i'll pray everything works out for you guy's. /forums/images/graemlins/k5.gifto /forums/images/graemlins/truck.gif
     
  8. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    Thanks
     
  9. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    you'll make it,bro. my uncle married into a family that had a sister that was hit by a car at ten years old. she never moved from the time i met her(literally a vegetable) and her parents still took her everywere,parties,christmas dinners,etc. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/k5.gifto /forums/images/graemlins/truck.gif
     

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