Forwarded to me, even some of my democrat friends even laughed: Steps to becoming a GOOD Democrat Virtually anyone can be a Democrat. Just simply quit thinking (about it) and vote that way. If you want to be a GOOD Democrat, however, there are some prerequisites you must have first. Compare them below and see how you rate... 1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of Federal funding. 2. You have to believe that the same school system that can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow the best qualified to teach those same kids all about sex. 3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law abiding Americans, are more of a threat than US nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists. 4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding. 5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by Americans driving SUVs'! 6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural. 7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand. 8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity. 9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do. 10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it. 11. You have to believe that the US military starts wars--not evil tyrannical regimes. 12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the constitution. 13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high. 14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison. 15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not. 16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is all about "progress" and not power. She just wants to help us out of the archaic system of governing that we've been subjected to since our founding. 17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge. 18. You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in jail, but a cheat, liar and sex offender belongs in the White House and you would vote him back in there in a New York minute (if you could). 19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag and transvestites should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal. 20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States. 21. You have to believe that the vociferous minorities who protest against prayer and saluting the flag in school, the 10 commandments in court, have far more rights than the majority who believe in God and country and want these values to be instilled in our young children. If you are locked in solidly to most of these beliefs - you're gonna be a big asset to John Kerry.