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Subject: Hollywood Squares Comebacks

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by thatK30guy, Mar 9, 2002.

  1. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Subject: Hollywood Squares Comebacks

    These are from the days when game show responses were
    spontaneous:

    Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his
    tail. What will a goose do?
    A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.

    Q: Do female frogs croak?
    A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water
    long enough.

    Q: Imagine you are a child in your mother's womb, can you
    detect light?
    A: Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice.

    Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be
    at least how high?
    A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

    Q: True or false...a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
    A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes...

    Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably
    a man or a woman?
    A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

    Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and
    you think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly
    and ask him if he's married?
    A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

    Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you
    get older?
    A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

    Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to
    say "I love you"?
    A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and
    a twenty.

    Q: What are "Do It," "I Can Help" and "Can't Get Enough"?
    A: George Gobel: I don't know but it's coming from the next
    apartment.

    Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you
    going to get any during your first year?
    A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy.
    growing strawberries!

    Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at
    nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
    A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

    Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
    A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

    Q: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with
    getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
    A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!

    Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body
    - what is it?
    A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't
    neglected!

    Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than
    150 pounds?
    A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee.

    Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for it's sex?
    A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.

    Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in
    them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What
    are they?
    A: Charley Weaver: His feet.
     
  2. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    damn wes you have been busy lol /forums/images/icons/smile.gif
     
  3. Donna

    Donna 1/2 ton status

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    Are you pickin up my slack Wes??? Since I haven't posted any good jokes lately?????LOL!!!!!!!!!!! Good ones though! ! ! ! !
     

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