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Subject: Memo from Santa

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Stomper, Dec 14, 2003.

  1. Stomper

    Stomper ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ GMOTM Winner

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    Location:
    Iowa
    I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve
    the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, West Virginia, North and South
    Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, Ohio, Kentucky, Alabama, Arkansas,
    Oklahoma or Louisiana on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current
    population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies
    and Elves Local 209.

    As part of the new and better contract, I also get longer breaks for milk
    and cookies so keep that in mind. However, I'm certain that your children will
    be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third
    cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares
    my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a
    few differences between us.

    Differences such as:

    1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He
    has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These
    toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

    2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC
    cola and pork rinds (or a moon pie) on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a
    pipe. He dips a little snuff, so please have an empty spit can handy.

    3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of
    reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time,
    and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

    4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, and Blitzen..." when
    Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on
    Elliott and Petty."

    5. "Ho, Ho, Ho" has been replaced by "Yee Haw" And you also
    are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat".

    6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a
    Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."

    7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street"
    and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated
    viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and
    "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus
    and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other.

    And Finally,

    8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the
    wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents
    under the tree.

    Sincerely Yours,

    Santa Claus
     
  2. unick

    unick 1/2 ton status

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    repost but a good one. I like this thing sounds like something Larry the cable guy would say.

    Nick
     
  3. Confedneck

    Confedneck 3/4 ton status

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  4. mudjunkie 82

    mudjunkie 82 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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  5. daleearnhardt01

    daleearnhardt01 1/2 ton status

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  6. GM Man

    GM Man 1/2 ton status

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    Thats pretty good. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  7. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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  8. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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  9. ducttape114

    ducttape114 1/2 ton status

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    i want a floppy eared flying coon dog!
     
  10. Goober

    Goober 1/2 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, and Blitzen..." when
    Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on
    Elliott and Petty."

    [/ QUOTE ]


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