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TACO HELL

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by mudhog, Oct 22, 2002.

  1. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    TACO HELL
    by Peter Leppik

    The following is a *true* story. It amused the hell out of me
    while it was happening. I hope it isn't one of those "had to be
    there" things.

    On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra
    holiday ca$h I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to
    eat. In my billfold is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of
    the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can
    get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting
    mad at me.

    Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go."

    Server: "Is that it?"

    Me: "Yep."

    Server: "That'll be $1.04, eat here?"

    Me: "No, it's "TO-GO" [I hate effort duplication]."

    At this point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He
    looks at it kind of funny and

    Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."

    He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within earshot.

    The following conversation occurs between the two of them.

    Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"

    Manager: "No. A what?"

    Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."

    Manager: "Ask for something else, THERE'S NO SUCH
    THING AS A $2 BILL."

    Server: "Yeah, thought so."

    He comes back to me and says

    Server: "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"

    Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"

    Server: "I don't know."

    Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"

    Server: "Yeah."

    Me: "So, shouldn't you take it?"

    Server: "Well, hang on a sec."

    He goes back to his manager who is watching me like I'm going to
    shoplift.

    Server: "He says I have to take it."

    Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"

    Server: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and
    get change."

    Manager: "I'M NOT OPENING THE SAFE WITH HIM
    IN HERE." [My emphasis]

    Server: "What should I do?"

    Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has REAL money."

    Server: "I can't tell him that, you tell him."

    Manager: "Just tell him."

    Server: "No way, this is weird, I'm going in back."

    The manager approaches me and says

    Manager: "Sorry, we don't take big bills this time of night." [it
    was 8pm and this particular Taco Bell is in a well lighted indoor
    mall with 100 other stores.]

    Me: "Well, here's a two."

    Manager: "We don't take *those* either."

    Me: "Why the hell not?"

    Manager: "I think you *know* why."

    Me: "No really, tell me, why?"

    Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."

    Me: "Excuse me?"

    Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."

    Me: "What the hell for?"

    Manager: "Please, sir."

    Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."

    Manager: "Would you please just leave?"

    Me: "No."

    Manager: "Fine, have it your way then."

    Me: "No, that's Burger King, isn't it?"

    At this point he BACKS away from me and calls mall security on the
    phone around the corner. I have two people STARING at me from the
    dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few
    minutes later this 45 year old-ish guy comes in and says [at the
    other end of counter, in a whisper]

    Security: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"

    Manager: "This guy is trying to give me some [pause] funny money."

    Security: "Really? What?"

    Manager: "Get this, a *two* dollar bill."

    Security: "Why would a guy fake a $2 bill?" [Incredulous]

    Manager: "I don't know? He's kinda weird. Says the only other
    thing he has is a fifty."

    Security: "So, the fifty's fake?"

    Manager: "NO, the $2 is." Security: "Why would he fake a $2 bill?"

    Manager: "I don't know. Can you talk to him, and get him out of
    here?"

    Security: "Yeah..."

    Security guard walks over to me and says

    Security: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're
    trying to use."

    Me: "Uh, no."

    Security: "Lemme see 'em."

    Me: "Why?"

    Security: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"

    At this point I was ready to say, "SURE, PLEASE," but I wanted to
    eat, so I said

    Me: "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2
    bill."

    I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I was taking
    a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in
    his hands, and says Security: "Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"

    Manager: "It's fake."

    Security: "It doesn't look fake to me."

    Manager: "But it's a **$2** bill."

    Security: "Yeah?"

    Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"

    The security guard and I both looked at him like he was an idiot,
    and it dawned on the guy that he had no clue. My burrito was free
    and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon things, too.
    Makes me want to get a whole stack of $2 bills just to see what
    happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of
    people, I could probably end up in jail. At least you get free
    food.
     
  2. muddysub

    muddysub 1 ton suburban status Staff Member Moderator GMOTM Winner

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    lmao! some people are just retarded! i'm only 18 and i've seen/used $2 bills before. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  3. Tybee

    Tybee 1/2 ton status

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    Thats great, good memory. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  4. TONYP

    TONYP 1/2 ton status

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    LMAO.....that make me think of the Baseball game tonight, At Pac Bell they have a floaty thing out in the bay to catch a Barry Bonds homerun....it says "Taco Bell" on it....
     
  5. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif I might just stop at my bank and get some $2.00 bills now just to see if anyone looks at them funny. My grandmother used to give $2.00 bills for Christmas and birthdays. Very rich old lady, and what did us grand kids get ??? Lousy $2.00 bill.
     
  6. ntaj*ep

    ntaj*ep 1/2 ton status

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    WOW! Just think if he tryed that with a silver doller or something! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  7. k5ntexas

    k5ntexas 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif lol that is funny. hmmmm if only i had money to get 2 dollar bills. lol. later.

    jacob
     
  8. fulltopblazer

    fulltopblazer 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gifI once had a kid that din't believe me about a .50 piece it didn't get that heated though. good one /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  9. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    Man, dumb people like that should not even be managers!!! /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    I've had and used $2 bills, many times!! And yes, its fun to watch others see them, especially if they've never seen them before! /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  10. bryguy00b

    bryguy00b 3/4 ton status

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    HAHAHHA what a dick!! i would have laughed my ass of in his face lol..and watch him get all red..
     
  11. 8_YOUR_H2

    8_YOUR_H2 1/2 ton status

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    My wife calls me at work, like she does 70000000 times a day for no reason, and says "I think I got a couple of fake $1.00 bills from the drug store I went to on break" I tell her people dont make fake ones cause it costs more than one dollar to make a fake bill. She said Well, It was real old and said "silver certificate" on it.


    but it ended up being ok cause the vending machine took them.... /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif
     
  12. delta9blazer

    delta9blazer 1/2 ton status

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    next time you're buying something, ask if they take hawaiian currency. most times they'll refuse.
    then explain (slowly) that hawaii is a state, and hawaiian money is they same as california money, nevada money, arizona money, etc.
    usually good for a laugh.
     
  13. 90K5

    90K5 1/2 ton status

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    Those are form the 50's or something like that...probably worth something too, to bad she spent them
     
  14. heavy4x4

    heavy4x4 1/2 ton status

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    That's good, I'll have to try that.
    Sounds like it could fool people too. /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif
     
  15. Ryan B.

    Ryan B. 3/4 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
    Thats good!
    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     

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