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The 10 Commandments of marriage

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by jarheadk5, Aug 6, 2004.

  1. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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    Commandment 1.
    Marriages are made in heaven. But then again, so are thunder and lightning.

    Commandment 2.
    If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

    Commandment 3.
    Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

    Commandment 4.
    Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
    In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
    In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

    Commandment 5.
    When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
    Either the car is new or the wife is.

    Commandment 6.
    Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

    Commandment 7.
    Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
    After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

    Commandment 8.
    Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.
    But the law allows only one wife.

    Commandment 9.
    Marriage and love are purely matters of chemistry.
    That is why some wives treat husbands like toxic waste.

    Commandment 10.
    A man is incomplete until he is married.
    After that, he is finished.

    Bonus Commandment.
    A long married couple came upon a wishing well.
    The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
    The husband decided to make a wish too.But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then grinned and said,
    "It really works!"
     
  2. MarcS

    MarcS 1/2 ton status

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    Reminds me of a quote.

    "Marriage is a great institution. But I'm not ready for
    a institution yet" Mae West
     
  3. 84gmcjimmy

    84gmcjimmy 1 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    Commandment 9.
    Marriage and love are purely matters of chemistry.
    That is why some wives treat husbands like toxic waste.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    /forums/images/graemlins/yikes.gif /forums/images/graemlins/yikes.gif /forums/images/graemlins/yikes.gif /forums/images/graemlins/yikes.gif
     
  4. Twiz

    Twiz 1/2 ton status

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    Good stuff !

    I cought the other ones too, funny.
     
  5. ramjet gmc

    ramjet gmc CK5 Staff Staff Member Moderator GMOTM Winner

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    /forums/images/graemlins/ears.gif

    /forums/images/graemlins/screwy.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif

    i just got the big M
     
  6. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/k5.gifto /forums/images/graemlins/truck.gif
     

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