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The death of two friends...

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by mikey_d05, Jul 17, 2005.

  1. mikey_d05

    mikey_d05 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Man, where do I start? Last Wednesday I got a call at work saying a friend of mine rolled her truck the night before, broke her neck and died. I didn't say much to anybody, just dealt with it. I learned more from my friends on Wednesday...apparently a girl called my friend's cell phone and told her that her boyfriend (also a friend of mine) didn't want her anymore and that they were screwing around right then. Jess (the one who rolled her truck) went out and got drunk that night, and was trying to drive home. A trucker swerved a little bit (by his own account) and she over-reacted and the **** hit the fan. The autopsy revealed that she broke her neck, suffered massive head trauma and intercranial bleeding, and most importantly had lots of alcohol in her system.

    I went to the wake Friday night, shook the parent's hands, tried to bite my lip because I refuse to cry in front of people. I then proceeded to go to another friends to party and get hammered out of my mind to try and forget about it. It worked for the night, I came home yesterday morning and pulled myself together and went to the funeral. So I went, shook hands again, felt empathy for parents and relatives who were still in the first stage of denial, and managed to get out to my truck afterwards before I broke down.

    Last night I pulled the same ****, went out to try and kill enough brain cells to forget about it. It worked for about an hour. My phone started ringing and it was a number I didn't recognize. I picked up and the voice at the other end was the same dreadful monotonous tone as the one who told me about Jess. Her boyfriend Jake went home after the funeral and shot himself. Left a note saying he couldn't live knowing that he contributed to the death of Jess.

    I don't know how to deal with this, both were good people, and now both are gone. I'm angry at this girl who called Jess, I'm angry at Jake even though he shot himself over the guilt, and most of all I'm angry at Jess for driving like that even though none of these feelings do any good. I guess the only thing I can be grateful for is that Jess didn't hurt anybody on the road that night but herself. I guess if anybody takes anything from this, don't drink and drive, two of my friends are gone because of it, and I just don't know how to deal.
     
  2. BIG*RED

    BIG*RED 1/2 ton status

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    i am truely sorry for you loss..

    i too have lost ones that i loved to drinking and driving...

    perhaps out of respect/rememberence to your friend..you should not drink..
    because even i have done the drink till you forget, so i know why you do it..but i just worry after reading this that you might hurt yourself..and that would not be good..
     
  3. dheavychevy38

    dheavychevy38 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    Thats horrable stick in there everything will be alright. People will all was make mistakes somethimes others are less fortunate to have good endings.

    I know how who feel 2 weeks ago my mom was told she has cancer and she doesn't have much longer to live. Ya just got to try to stick it out and look at all the good stuff that has happened.
     
  4. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    I don't know what too say. Man, that sucks. I wish I had the words. My deepest condolences.
     
  5. PhoenixZorn

    PhoenixZorn 1/2 ton status

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    My condolences bro... I've been to enough funerals to know exactly how you are feeling... in fact, my Grandpa died of complications from diabetes, and less than a week later, my 12 year old cousin was hit by a car and killed. I blamed myself for my cousin's death at the time because I didn't have a job. I could have picked him up from school and taken him home safely, and he'd still be with us today.


    A few years before, my uncle shot himself... he was a schizophrenic and wasn't taking his meds anymore. I was going to call him that day, as we were close and often talked while I was away in the Corps. Because I didn't get to talk to him, I blamed myself for his death for a couple weeks.

    I've seen too many deaths in my family for me to count anymore... it's the consequenses of having a very large family.
     
  6. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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    That is truly horrible Mike...:(

    Rene
     
  7. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    Sorry for your losses and the circumstances, Mike. I don't think I can say anything to make you feel any better, but I can understand you're feeling something no one would ever want to feel.
     
  8. therobzilla

    therobzilla 1/2 ton status

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    Mike,

    I have the deepest sympathy for you and your friends family. This is a tragic thing to happen to anyone in this world.

    My love and prayers goes to you and your friends family.

    Rob
     
  9. shane74

    shane74 1/2 ton status

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    damn Mike... There aren't any words that can make this better. Please accept my sypathies and condolences. I have been through a similar situation. But, what you cannot do it allow the recent events to cause you to make bad decisions that could get you, or worse, someone else hurt. Life is too precious for that.

    I lost my best friend to a similar situation when I was 18. It felt like someone ripped out my insides and ran them through a blender. I was pretty messed up in the head over it for several months. Now, several years have passed, and when I remember him, I laugh because of all the great times we had together and all the funny stuff that we did. Give it time. The wounds will still be there, but the focus of the memories will change.


    My prayers are with you.
     
  10. grindkings

    grindkings 1/2 ton status

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    Man, the word just isn't a friendly place some times. My sempithy is with you. Like yourself and many others, i have lost plenty of friends. I'm on my last year of high school, and already 6 friends of my have left this word. All things do get better, and i sounds stupid, but things like this Due Happen For A Reason. Forget, but remmber.
     
  11. Leper

    Leper 1/2 ton status

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    I'll pray for you.
     
  12. big_truxx

    big_truxx 1/2 ton status

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    mike.... dood... been through some stuff before... and you have the sincerest condolances from me. i tip both my hat and my bottle to you and your lost friends. just remember if you ever need to talk me and a whole bunch more of us here are more than willing to lend an ear and advice or whatever we can brother!
     
  13. justhorsinaround

    justhorsinaround 3/4 ton status

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    Had kind of the same thing happen to me when I was in my early twenties. You'll get through it, I promise. :o
     
  14. diesel4me

    diesel4me 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Been there too..

    :( :( I lost both of my best and pretty much only friends in 1994--they both died of heart problems..first to go was my friend Larry,who I'd known since 9th grade..he was a bit of a daredevil and sometimes he'd drink a lot of whiskey,smoke pot and do other drugs..he had a rough childhood,and I think his alcohol and drug abuse was due to the fact his dad divorced his mom,(who he was very close too)and married a "child psycologist" who tormented him a great deal..I always thought if he DID get killed,it would be due too DWI or one of his daredevil acts..instead,he vomited in his sleep after drinking too much Seagrams 7,and taken his heart medication at the same time..just like John Bonnamm of Led Zeppelin(one of his favorite bands),and Bad Company's "Shooting Star"(his favorite tune),he checked out on feb 13th,1994.. :(

    My other good friend "Randy" I'd known since grade school died exactly 9 months to the day later--nov.13.1994,two days after his 36th birthday-now here is a guy who NEVER drank a beer,smoked anything,pot or tobacco,and he gets heart disease??
    -he had a bad heart valve,and an unqualified local hospital did a heart pacemaker instalation--he died 11 days later--I was at his side the night before in his room,watching TV with him,and I thought he was doing very well--the next day his mom called me with the bad news...it deeply affected my life--to this day I cant say I am "over" their deaths..after Randy died I quit my job after arguing with my boss about getting time off to attend his wake...I havent worked for anyone else since..(and dread the thoughts of having to do so again--but it appears I'll have to if I want to live any longer!)....People in bussiness are heartless and could give a S*** if YOU are not up to working..all they care about is M-O-N-E-Y...... :mad:

    I have no magic words of advice for you,I wish I did..All I can say is dont be in despair--both your friends AND mine are in a better place than us now...and they will be watching over you..do Gods will,and you WILL se them again one day!....My prayers and thoughts are with you!.. :crazy:
     

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