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The key to good health

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Capman2k, Feb 26, 2004.

  1. Capman2k

    Capman2k 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
    true?

    A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't
    waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually Speeding up your
    heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend
    the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a
    nap.


    Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

    A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
    corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than
    an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
    grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green
    leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
    daily allowance of vegetable products.


    Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

    A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one
    to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


    Q: What are some of the advantages of participating a regular exercise
    program?

    A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
    Pain...Good.


    Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

    A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
    In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be
    bad for you?


    Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?

    A: Thicker gravy.


    Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
    middle?

    A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
    should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.


    Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

    A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!!
    It's the best feel good food around!


    Q: Is swimming is good for your figure?

    A: Explain whales to me.


    Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
    about food and diets. Now go have a cookie...flour is a veggie!
     
  2. bigyellowjimmy

    bigyellowjimmy 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  3. tecton

    tecton 1/2 ton status

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    *sigh*

    i want to believe
     
  4. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    Salem, Or.
    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  5. nc87k5

    nc87k5 3/4 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
    should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif

    /forums/images/graemlins/thinking.gif seems I've done too many already! /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     

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