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The Man Code

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, May 14, 2002.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    > 1. Thou shalt not rent the movie Chocolat
    >
    > 2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
    >
    > 3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be
    > legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
    >
    > 4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother,
    > father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant or dog walker, you
    > need not and should not provide any useful information
    > whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to
    > deny his very existence.
    >
    > 5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you
    > must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
    >
    > 6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent
    > without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is
    > allowed to call B.S. (Exception: When trying to pick up a woman,
    > the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent)
    >
    > 7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
    > limits forever.
    >
    > 8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy
    > who's running late is five minutes. For a woman, you are
    > required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores
    > on the classic 1 - 10 scale.
    >
    > 9. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddy's refrigerator
    > is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.
    >
    > 10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another
    > man. In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly
    > optional.
    >
    > 11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy
    > is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get
    > carried away by your good deed and end up together, your
    > pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at a bachelor party.
    >
    > 12. Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask his
    > permission, and he, in turn, is required to grant it.
    >
    > 13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be
    > treated a spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the
    > game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean.
    >
    > 14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem - you didn't
    > see nothin'.
    >
    > 15. The universal compensation for buddy's who help you
    > move is beer.
    >
    > 16. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.
    >
    > 17. Your girlfriend must bond with your buddy's girlfriends
    > within 30 minutes of meeting them. You are not required
    > to make nice with her gal pal's significant others - low
    > level sports bonding is all the law requires.
    >
    > 18. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event,
    > you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but
    > you may never ask who's playing.
    >
    > 19. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiny
    > friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if
    > you'll be able to warn your buddy and give time to prepare
    > excuses about joining the priesthood.
    >
    > 20. It is permissible to consume a fruity drink only when you are
    > sunning on a tropical beach...and it's delivered by a topless
    > supermodel...and it's free.
    >
    > 21. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
    >
    > 22. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman
    > must remain sober enough to fight.
    >
    > 23. If a buddy is outnumbered, outmanned or too drunk to fight, you
    > must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours
    > his
    > his actions have caused you to think: "What this guy needs is a
    > good ass-whoopin'." Then you may sit back and enjoy.
    >
    > 24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or or the last slice of
    > pizza,
    > but not both. That's just plain mean.
    >
    > 25. If you compliment a guy on his six pack, you better be referring to
    > his beer.


    > 26. Never talk to a man in the bathroom.
    >
    > 27. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may
    > not join him.
    >
    > 28. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must
    > attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look
    > you
    > in the eye, and deliver a "leave me alone" you are absolved of
    > your responsibility.
     
  2. NoAngel

    NoAngel 1/2 ton status

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    #7 knocked alot of date possibilities off my list in the past!/forums/images/icons/frown.gif My brother was true blue to that one! I also like #23 and #28
     
  3. Leadfoot

    Leadfoot 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    /forums/images/icons/mad.gif
     
  4. NoAngel

    NoAngel 1/2 ton status

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    Aww...you have nothing to worry about honey! That was then and this is now. {{{}}}
     
  5. ChevyHuny

    ChevyHuny 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Washington State
    P
    A
    D
    /forums/images/icons/smile.gif
     

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