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The Man Code

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Chris87K5, Dec 14, 2002.

  1. Chris87K5

    Chris87K5 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    Pennsyltucky
    THE MAN CODE

    This is it. So it has been written, so it shall be....The CODE


    1. Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolate.

    2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.

    3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be
    legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

    4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother,
    father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker,
    you need not and should not provide any useful information
    whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny
    his very existence.

    5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you
    must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

    6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent
    without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is
    allowed to call BULLSH*T. (Exception: When trying to pick up
    a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent).

    7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister
    is off-limits forever.

    8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy
    who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required
    to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on
    the classic 1-10 babe scale.

    9. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies
    refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature
    is unsuitable.

    10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for
    another man. In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is
    strictly optional and slightly gay.

    11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that
    your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should
    you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex
    with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at
    your bachelor party.

    12. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his
    permission and he in return is required to grant it.

    13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated
    as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the
    ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

    14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem--you didn't
    see nothin'.

    15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move
    is beer.

    16. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.

    17. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event,
    you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you
    may never ask who's playing.

    18. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her
    whiny friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead
    only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time
    to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.

    19. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only
    when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered
    by a topless supermodel... and it's free.

    20. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

    21. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman
    must remain sober enough to fight.

    22. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to
    fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the
    last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this
    guy needs is a good a$$-whoopin", then you may sit back and
    enjoy.

    23. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight
    lifting:
    "Yeah, baby, push it!"
    "C'mon, give me one more! Harder!"
    "Another set and we can hit the showers."
    "Nice a$$, are you a Sagittarius?"

    24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice
    of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.

    25. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be
    referring to his beer.

    26. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except
    when she's withholding sex pending your response.

    27. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal
    footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all
    other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.

    28. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car,
    you may not join him...too gay.
     
  2. ChevyDrivnRdneck

    ChevyDrivnRdneck 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Modesto, Ca
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif THAT IS GOOD!!! /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  3. BranndonC

    BranndonC 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
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    Anaheim, Ca
    I love them all, buy this one a lot
    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent
    without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is
    allowed to call BULLSH*T. (Exception: When trying to pick up
    a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent).


    [/ QUOTE ]
     
  4. 75-K5

    75-K5 3/4 ton status

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    Anderson, Indiana
    it's all good except for the cat thing. If you find a cool cat, they can be awesome!!
     
  5. MOABDADC22

    MOABDADC22 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Cheyenne, Wy
    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    20. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.


    [/ QUOTE ] /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  6. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    .
    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    23. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight
    lifting:
    "Yeah, baby, push it!"
    "C'mon, give me one more! Harder!"
    "Another set and we can hit the showers."
    "Nice a$$, are you a Sagittarius?"

    [/ QUOTE ]

    This is something for Twiztid to read and learn about. Last I heard, he was known to comment other men in the weight room about their man boobs. /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  7. fourwheelerjeff

    fourwheelerjeff 1/2 ton status Staff Member Moderator

    Joined:
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    Location:
    meadow, tx; in the boonies
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  8. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    Salem, Or.
    That is just to damn good

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  9. NITRO

    NITRO 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    read what 75-K5 posted. i think he is gay guys. ive wheeled with him bfore and noticed how he always tried to "breed" my truck. i think he's gay

    NITRO
     
  10. sapper

    sapper 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

    Joined:
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    NoVa
    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister
    is off-limits forever

    [/ QUOTE ]
    BUL!SH!T- gotta raise the flag on this one, ifs shes hot he knows it and should keep her concealed. Its easier to ask forgivness than permission /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  11. pissant469

    pissant469 1/2 ton status

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    Sweet Home Alabama
    they were all hilarious. as for what sapper said amen brother
     

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