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The RULES from a guys point of View!!!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by DBLAZER, Aug 14, 2002.

  1. DBLAZER

    DBLAZER 1/2 ton status

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    <font color="purple"> And Now From a Guys Perspective!!!

    We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note...these are all Numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

    1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

    1. Don't cut your hair. Ever!! Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then we're stuck with you

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just spit it out!

    1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

    1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops!! What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

    1. Check your oil! Please!!!

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

    1. If you won't dress like a Victoria's Secret model, don't expect us to act like a soap opera guy.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We'll refuse to answer.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of those ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best on how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

    1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, it's like the Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really!

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying anyway.)

    1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

    1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping!!!
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  2. muddin4fun

    muddin4fun 3/4 ton status

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    Welcome to: a few days ago, last week, a couple of weeks ago, last month, and a few months before that /forums/images/icons/grin.gif /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
     
  3. Sandman

    Sandman 3/4 ton status Author

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    Pretty good. I should show them to my wife. Then again maybe not. She would just laugh at me at my pitiful attempt to assert myself. /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif
     

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