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"the rules"

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, May 11, 2002.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

    Mar 30, 2002
    Likes Received:
    \"the rules\"

    We always hear "the rules" from the feminine side. Ok - now hear
    the guys' side -...
    These are our rules! Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
    put it down.
    1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
    if we can find the perfect present yet again!
    1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
    1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared
    to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and
    1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
    tides. Let it be.
    1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of
    it that way.
    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
    fine. Really.
    1. Crying is blackmail.
    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
    do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work.
    Just say it!
    1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
    calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
    1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think
    we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good
    with your dress?
    1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
    That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
    1. Check your oil! . Please.
    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
    fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
    expect us to act like soap opera guys. Clear enough, isn't it?
    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
    ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
    1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
    done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
    1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
    months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your
    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
    have no idea what mauve is.
    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
    1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
    mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
    nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
    the hassle.

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