Dismiss Notice

Welcome To CK5!

Registering is free and easy! Hope to see you on the forums soon.

Score a FREE t-shirt and membership sticker when you sign up for a Premium Membership and choose the recurring plan.

The Truth about Chuck Norris

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by firefighter184, Apr 25, 2006.

  1. firefighter184

    firefighter184 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2003
    Posts:
    2,763
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Barrio
    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

    Chuck Norris discovered the "taint" when he couldn't decide whether to kick a guys ass or his balls.

    There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

    Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

    ChuckNorris does not sleep. He waits.

    Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

    Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

    Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice.

    There is no chin behind Chuck Norris beard. There is only another fist.

    When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isnt lifting himself up, hes pushing the Earth down.

    Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

    Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

    There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

    Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

    Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

    Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

    Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

    Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

    Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
     
  2. divorced

    divorced 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2004
    Posts:
    5,115
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    .
    Air requires Chuck Norris to exist.
     
  3. tiger9297

    tiger9297 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2004
    Posts:
    1,205
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tupelo, Mississippi
    Chuck needs to sell that texas ranger dodge and buy a chevy. :D
     
  4. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2000
    Posts:
    38,584
    Likes Received:
    266
    Location:
    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    Chucktatorship...:haha: :haha: :haha:
     
  5. muddysub

    muddysub 1 ton suburban status Staff Member Moderator GMOTM Winner

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2001
    Posts:
    10,451
    Likes Received:
    489
    Location:
    my garage, Henderson, NV
    chuck norris once walked down the street with a massive erection... there were no survivors.
    chuck norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "BOOYA"
     
  6. docgab

    docgab 1/2 ton status Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2002
    Posts:
    1,166
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Medford, OR
    So just to brag a little, I met the man when I was a wee youngin. Got the Autographed photo to prove it. It was almost too much testosterone for a young guy to handle!! ;-)
     
  7. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2001
    Posts:
    20,716
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Undisclosed Location
    I heaRd Chuck doesn't like the repost

    :D :D :D
     
  8. BranndonC

    BranndonC 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2002
    Posts:
    8,591
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Anaheim, Ca
  9. sandracer799

    sandracer799 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2004
    Posts:
    834
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Richmond,Virginia

    Actually when the show first came on the air he had a GMC:D
     
  10. cbbr

    cbbr 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2004
    Posts:
    14,681
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    High velocity, Low altitude
    Here and here are aboot 400 more.....
     

Share This Page