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The truth about women ;^)

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by tRustyK5, Feb 19, 2002.

  1. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

    Joined:
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    Location:
    E-town baby!
    How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

    Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
    Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine is probably never able
    to support you.

    Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen
    sink.

    How do you fix a woman's watch?
    You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

    Why do men break wind more than women?
    Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
    (NOW you know the TRUTH)

    If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who
    do you let in first?
    The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

    What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
    A woman that won't do what she's told.

    I married Miss Right.
    I didn't know her first name was Always.

    I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months:
    I don't like to interrupt her.


    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
    It's called wedding cake.

    Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
    Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.


    Our last fight was all my fault:
    My wife asked me "What's on TV?"
    I said, "Dust!"

    In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and
    rested. Then God created Woman.
    Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

    Why do men die before their wives?
    They want to.

    A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said,
    "I haven't eaten anything for days."
    She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."

    Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know
    his wife until he marries her?"
    Dad: That happens in every country, son.

    A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: Wife Wanted."
    The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
    "You can have mine."

    Rene

    <font color=green>Dyslexics of the world...UNTIE!</font color=green>
    <a target="_blank" href=http://coloradok5.com/gallery/project_T2> tRusty pics...</a>
     
  2. ChevyCaGal

    ChevyCaGal 3/4 ton status

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    Sacramento, CA USA
    Let the headers fly... [​IMG]

    <a target="_blank" href=http://www.chevycagal.homestead.com/steph.html>Steph's Webpage</a>
    "Grace is knowing when to be a lady and when to say "Ah, bite me, outta my way!"
     
  3. riz

    riz 3/4 ton status

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    <font color=blue> Too funny, Rene ! How about this one .....

    How many women does it take to change a lightbulb ?

    None, they just sit in the dark and bitch about it !

    L8r,
    . Riz . <a target="_blank" href=http://www.geocities.com/rizmonkey>www.geocities.com/rizmonkey</a>

    <font color=purple> monkeys steal my underwear at night
     
  4. 2Dogs

    2Dogs 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    Dude, just what I needed. Our Wedding is June 15th...

    Grim.

    Dave

    Rehab is for quitters.
    <a target="_blank" href=http://coloradok5.com/gallery/Daves-Pics>http://coloradok5.com/gallery/Daves-Pics</a>
     
  5. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

    Joined:
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    Location:
    E-town baby!
    Well Dave I'm sure your wife won't be anything like that... :rolleyes: J/K!

    Congrats (by the way there's still time to escape!)

    Rene

    <font color=green>Dyslexics of the world...UNTIE!</font color=green>
    <a target="_blank" href=http://coloradok5.com/gallery/project_T2> tRusty pics...</a>
     
  6. riz

    riz 3/4 ton status

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    <font color=blue> Run Dave ! Run like the wind !

    L8r,
    . Riz . <a target="_blank" href=http://www.geocities.com/rizmonkey>www.geocities.com/rizmonkey</a>

    <font color=purple> monkeys steal my underwear at night
     
  7. UseYourBlinker

    UseYourBlinker 1 ton status

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    That's beautiful Rene,gonna have to print this out and send it to my girlfriend..Our six year anniversary is tomorrow! [​IMG]



    Eric
    from Freekmont,CA.

    <a target="_blank" href=http://www.community.webshots.com/user/vwryda>I'm Discombobulated </a>
     
  8. StoneyK5

    StoneyK5 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    Birch Bay, Wa.
    LOL!!! [​IMG] I needed a pick-me-up on this blah day... [​IMG]

    83K5 Silverado
    What was that bump?
    I want people to know why I look this way.
    I've traveled a long way and
    some of the roads weren't paved.
     
  9. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    lmao good one rene[​IMG]

    wheeling pics
     
  10. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    [​IMG] ROTFLMFAO!!! [​IMG]

    Very true, so very true!! [​IMG]





    <font color=red>Only real men drive K30's!!!</font color=red> [​IMG]

    <a target="_blank" href=http://coloradok5.com/gallery/thatK30guy>The K30 Collection</a>
     
  11. muddin4fun

    muddin4fun 3/4 ton status

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    N Texas
    Hey Rene! Come here a sec! Got something to show you! [​IMG]



    <P ID="edit"><FONT class="small">Edited by muddin4fun on 02/19/02 04:47 PM.</FONT></P>
     
  12. riz

    riz 3/4 ton status

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    <font color=blue> Don't do it, Rene ! She's got the headers !

    L8r,
    . Riz . <a target="_blank" href=http://www.geocities.com/rizmonkey>www.geocities.com/rizmonkey</a>

    <font color=purple> monkeys steal my underwear at night
     
  13. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    How funny is this!! I was just about to start a post about how great my wife is to me, and I find this!!

    Ratch
    CK5 album
    Your ad here.
     

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