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These are extracts from actual letters sent to various councils

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by mudhog, Jul 9, 2002.

  1. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

    Joined:
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    Location:
    portland oregon
    These are extracts from actual letters sent to various councils
    and Housing associations throughout the UK:

    1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and
    burnt my knob off.

    2. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly
    when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

    3. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls
    against my fence.

    4. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside
    toilet roof. I think it was that bad wind the other night that
    blew them off.

    5. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from
    the wall.

    6. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my wife
    tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant?

    7. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 50%
    of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest
    are plain filthy.

    8. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it
    is cleared.

    9. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny
    colour and not fit to drink.

    10. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three
    pieces.

    11. I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every
    morning at 6:00am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too
    much for me.

    12. The man next door has a large erection in the garden, which
    is unsightly and dangerous.

    13. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small children and
    would like a third so please send someone round to do something
    about it.

    14. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you
    please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top
    of me every night.

    15. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and
    satisfy my wife.

    16. I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times
    but I still have had no satisfaction.

    17. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back
    passage has fungus in it.

    18. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I
    just can't take it any more
     
  2. shane74

    shane74 1/2 ton status

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    Those are funny!! /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
     
  3. muddysub

    muddysub 1 ton suburban status Staff Member Moderator GMOTM Winner

    Joined:
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    Location:
    my garage, Henderson, NV
    OMG ROTFLMAO!!!!! europeans are weird.
     
  4. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Los Estados Unitos
    Aww Geez... My face hurts from trying not to laugh too loud at work!
     

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