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Things you wish you could do and say at work.

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Grim-Reaper, Aug 10, 2002.

  1. Grim-Reaper

    Grim-Reaper 3/4 ton status Author

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2000
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    Location:
    Atlanta
    THe Lady sent this to me thins morning. THIS IS SO TRUE OF MY JOB! Printed it off and gave a copy to the other folks in my office.

    1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.
    2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
    3. How about never? Is never good for you?
    4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. This is good!
    5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
    6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
    7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
    8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
    9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
    10. Ahhh ... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
    11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
    12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
    13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
    14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
    15. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
    16. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
    17. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
    18. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
    19. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn off.
    20. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
    21. Do I look like a people person?
    22. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
    23. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
    24. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
    25. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
    26. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
    27. Can I trade this job for what's behind door number one?
    28. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
    29. Chaos, panic and disorder -- my work here is done.
    30. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
     

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