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This is for all you Military guys(ya'll the only ones who will get this) :-)

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Jeremy_C, Dec 24, 2004.

  1. Jeremy_C

    Jeremy_C 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
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    Lt jg Claus....................................

    Operation Order 12-2004 For: Official Visit of LT jg Santa Clause

    1. An official staff visit by LT jg Claus is expected at this post
    on 25 Dec. The following directives govern activities of all
    personnel during the visit.

    a. Not a creature will stir without permission. This includes
    warrant officers and mice. Soldiers may obtain special stirring
    permits for necessary administrative action through the Battalion
    S- Officer stirring permits must be obtained through the Deputy,
    Post Plans and Policy Office.

    b. All personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap
    NLT 2200 hours, 24 December. Uniform for the nap will be; Pajamas,
    Cotton, Light Weight, General Purpose, OG, and Cap, BDU woodland
    pattern, with ear flaps in the extended position. Equipment will
    be drawn from the supply room prior to 1900 hours. While at
    supply, all personnel will review their personal hand receipts and
    sign a Cash Collection Voucher, DD Form 1131, for all missing
    items. Remember, this is the "season of giving."

    c. Personnel will utilize standard "T" ration sugar plums for
    visions to dance through their heads. Sugar plums are available in
    "T" ration sundry packs and should be eaten with egg loaf, chopped
    ham, and spice cake to ensure maximum visions are experienced.

    d. Stockings, Wool, Cushion Sole, will be hung by the chimneys
    with care. Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid
    fires caused by carelessly hung stockings. 1SG's will submit
    stocking handling plans to S-3, Training prior to 0800 hours, 24
    Dec. All leaders will ensure their subordinate personnel are
    briefed on the safety aspects of stocking hanging.

    e. At first [sign] of clatter, all personnel will spring from
    their beds to investigate and evaluate the cause. Immediate action
    will be taken to tear open the shutters and throw up the window
    sashes. On order OPLAN 7-01 (North Pole), para 6-8 (c)(3), dated 4
    March, this office, takes effect to facilitate shutter tearing and
    sash throwing. SDO and all CQs will be familiar with procedures and
    are responsible for seeing that no shutters are torn or sashes
    thrown in Bldg 9828 prior to the start of official clatter.

    f. Prior to 0001, date of visit, all personnel possessing Standard
    Target Acquisition and Night Observation (STANO) equipment will be
    assigned "wandering eyeball" stations. The SDNCO will ensure that
    these stations are adequately manned even after shutters are torn
    and sashes are thrown.

    g. The Battalion S-4, in coordination with the National Security
    Agency and the Motor Pool will assign on each Sleigh, Miniature, M-
    24 and eight reindeer, tiny, for use by LT jg Claus. The assigned
    driver must have a current sleigh operator's license with roof top
    permit and evidence of attendance at the winter driving class
    stamped on his DA Form 348. Driver must also be able to clearly
    shout "On Dancer, On Prancer, etc."

    2. LT JG Claus will initially enter Bldg 9828 through the dayroom.
    All offices without chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator, M6A2 for
    use during the visit. Draw chimney simulator on DA Form 2765-1
    which will be submitted in four copies to the S-4 prior to 23 Dec.
    Personnel will ensure that chimneys are properly cleaned before
    turn- in at the conclusion of visit.

    3. Personnel will be rehearsed in the shouting of "Merry Christmas
    and Happy New Year" or "Merry Christmas To All and To All a Good
    Night." This shout will be given upon termination of the visit.
    Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of each section NCOIC.

    FOR THE COMMANDER GOODE, U. B., LTC, OD Executive Officer
     
  2. surpip

    surpip 1 ton status

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  3. unclematty

    unclematty 1/2 ton status

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    rules for the rules

    that is funny, just as I remember;)
     
  4. Stickseler

    Stickseler 3/4 ton status

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  5. Seventy4Blazer

    Seventy4Blazer 3/4 ton status

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    he he... yeah... and nobody sent me a rum cake... he he...

    ehh, thats about how it is... i wont miss it. simple is more fun and faster...
    grant
     
  6. BurbLover

    BurbLover 1/2 ton status

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    Now that's freaking hilarious!!:haha::haha::haha: Too bad the non military really can't appreciate the humor in it :xmas:
     

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