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This made me laugh

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by MOABDADC22, Feb 7, 2005.

  1. MOABDADC22

    MOABDADC22 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2001
    Posts:
    1,348
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    Location:
    Cheyenne, Wy
    USED CAR CLASSIFIEDS>>>>>>>>>>>>TRANSLATION OF COMMON PHRASES

    # MUST SELL… before it blows up.
    # RUNS FINE… I was going to say "runs excellent" but I had a last minute attack of conscience.
    # NEEDS SOME BODY WORK… was side-swiped by a Winnebago.
    # WELL-MAINTAINED… I occasionally changed the oil.
    # LOOKS LIKE NEW… just don't try to drive it anywhere.
    # ALL ORIGINAL… I never had anything fixed, adjusted, or replaced.
    # LOADED WITH OPTIONS… each one more troublesome than the last.
    # NEVER SMOKED IN… unfortunately, that's the best thing I can say about it.
    # PROJECT CAR… I can't figure out how to finish it and I doubt you will either.
    # LOTS OF POTENTIAL… to drive you insane.
    # NEEDS MINOR REPAIR… doesn't run.
    # ENGINE QUIET... uses 90-weight oil
    # PARTS CAR... beyond repair.
    # ROUGH CONDITION… too bad to lie about.
    # IMMACULATE... recently washed.
    # CONCOURS... recently waxed.
    # NEEDS MINOR OVERHAUL... needs engine.
    # NEEDS MAJOR OVERHAUL... phone the junkyard.
    # BURNS NO OIL... (it all leaks out).
    # REBUILT ENGINE... cleaned the spark plugs.
    # DRIVE IT AWAY... I live on a hill.
    # DRIVE IT ANYWHERE... (within 10 miles).
    # DESIRABLE CLASSIC... no one wants it.
    # RARE CLASSIC... no one wanted it even when it was new.
    # STORED 20 YEARS... (in a farmer's field).
    # RAN WHEN STORED... won't start.
    # NEVER APART... bolts too rounded to loosen.
    # SOLID AS A ROCK... rusted solid
    # RESTORED, WITH 0 MILES... won't start.
    # RESTORED, WITH 2 MILES... won't stay running.
    # OLDER RESTORATION... first owner washed it.
    # GOOD INVESTMENT... can't be worth much less.
    # NO TIME TO RESTORE IT... can't obtain parts.
    # 95% COMPLETE... other 5% doesn't exist.
    # CLEAN… homeless dude at 5th and Main did the windows.
    # GOOD TRANSPORTATION… It's ugly as sin.
    # ENGINE BLUEPRINTED… I don't know what it means either.
    # EXCELLENT GAS MILEAGE… It's slow.
    # LOW MILES… the odometer was turned back.
    # ONE OWNER… can't give it away.
    # SURE TO APPRECIATE… that's why I'm selling it.
    # . . .OR BEST OFFER… I'm guessing here.
    # FASTER THAN A 'VETTE… A Chevette.
    # OTHER INTERESTS CONFLICT... spouse's ultimatum: "Either that #!!@&## thing goes or I do!" :)
     
  2. sled_dog

    sled_dog 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2002
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    Location:
    Austin, TX
    lets face it, if every used car ad was what they claimed it was, no one would be selling used cars.
     
  3. ronnny

    ronnny 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2004
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    Location:
    Newnan GA
    You really have to look at used cars and know what you are looking at. My 600 dollar k-10 is almost 3 years mine and the man claimed that it will run drive it home. He even jumped it off and left the battery that sometimes would start it.
     
  4. yeild2me

    yeild2me 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2001
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    1,309
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    Location:
    fayetteville, nc
    HUNTERS SPECIAL.......Has had a rough life since new.
     

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