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Tired of the men bashing jokes?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by thatK30guy, Nov 24, 2002.

  1. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    How many men does it take to open a beer? None.
    > > It should be opened by the time she brings it.
    > >
    > > Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
    > > Because women who can't even afford
    > > a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
    > >
    > > Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    > > It's one of those "evolutionary things" that
    > > allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
    > >
    > > How do you know when a woman
    > > is about to say something smart?
    > > When she starts her sentence with
    > > "A man once told me..."
    > >
    > > How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't.
    > > There is a clock on the oven.
    > >
    > > Why do men break wind more than women?
    > > Because women can't shut up long enough
    > > to build up the required pressure.
    > >
    > > If your dog is barking at the back door
    > > and your wife is yelling at the front door,
    > > who do you let in first?
    > > The dog, of course.
    > > He'll shut up once you let him in.
    > >
    > > What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
    > > A woman who won't do what she's told.
    > >
    > > I married Miss Right.
    > > I just didn't know her first name was Always.
    > >
    > > I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months:
    > > I don't like to interrupt her.
    > >
    > > Scientists have discovered a food that
    > > diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
    > > It's called a Wedding Cake.
    > >
    > > Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring,
    > > Wedding Ring and Suffe-ring.
    > >
    > > Our last fight was my fault:
    > > My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
    > > I said, "Dust!"
    > >
    > > In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
    > > Then God created Man and rested.
    > > Then God created Woman.
    > > Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
    > >
    > > Why do men die before their wives?
    > > They want to.
    > >
    > > A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman
    > > shopping on Rodeo Drive and said,
    > > "I haven't eaten anything for days."
    > > She looked at him and said,
    > > "God, I wish I had your willpower."
    > >
    > > Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that
    > > in some parts of Africa man doesn't know
    > > his wife until he marries her?"
    > > Dad: "That happens in every country, son."
    > >
    > > A man inserted an advertisement in the classified:
    > > "Wife Wanted."
    > > The next day he received a hundred letters.
    > > They all said the same thing:
    > > "You can have mine."
    > >
    > > The most effective way to remember your
    > > wife's birthday is to forget it once.
     
  2. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    A man inserted an advertisement in the classified:
    &gt; &gt; "Wife Wanted."
    &gt; &gt; The next day he received a hundred letters.
    &gt; &gt; They all said the same thing:
    &gt; &gt; "You can have mine."

    [/ QUOTE ] /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  3. Chris87K5

    Chris87K5 1/2 ton status

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    What do you do if you see your ol' lady flopping around in the back yard?
    Shoot her again
    /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
     
  4. Tybee

    Tybee 1/2 ton status

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    Centennial, CO
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif I have to print that. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  5. tomseviltwin

    tomseviltwin 1/2 ton status

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    Oh yeah, I'm sending this one out. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  6. KRAZIE87K5

    KRAZIE87K5 1/2 ton status

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    Hey Westy! Your wife doesn't read much on this site does she? /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

    -Dan
     
  7. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Nope! /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  8. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    Why do men break wind more than women?
    &gt; &gt; Because women can't shut up long enough
    &gt; &gt; to build up the required pressure

    [/ QUOTE ] That one had me rolling !!!!! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  9. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     

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