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TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO HAS HAD ENOUGH...

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by blazen91, Mar 18, 2002.

  1. blazen91

    blazen91 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Hesperia, Ca 92345
    TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO HAS HAD ENOUGH...
    > >
    > > If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We
    > > refuse to answer.
    > >
    > > Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
    > >
    > > If you won't/don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
    > > don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
    > >
    > > Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more
    > > attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear
    > > getting married is that married women always cut their hair,
    > > and by then you're stuck with her.
    > >
    > > Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to
    > > see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
    > >
    > > If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
    > > answer you don't want to hear.
    > >
    > > Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
    > >
    > > Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
    > > prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun
    > > formation, or monster trucks.
    > >
    > > Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of
    > > the tides. Let it be.
    > >
    > > Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think
    > > of it that way.
    > >
    > > When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
    > > is fine. Really.
    > >
    > > You have enough clothes.
    > >
    > > You have too many shoes.
    > >
    > > Crying is blackmail.
    > >
    > > Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle
    > > hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious
    > > hints don't work. Just say it!
    > >
    > > No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark
    > > anniversaries, birthdays and other events you want us to
    > > remember on the calendar. That increases the chance we'll
    > > remember by 50%.
    > >
    > > Most guys own three pairs of shoes - what makes you think
    > > we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty,
    > > would look good with your dress?
    > >
    > > Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
    > > question.
    > >
    > > Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
    > > That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are
    > > for.
    > >
    > > A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a
    > > doctor.
    > >
    > > Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
    > >
    > > Check your oil.
    > >
    > > It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the
    > > quiz together.
    > >
    > > No, it doesn't't matter which quiz.
    > >
    > > Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
    > > argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
    > >
    > > If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of
    > > the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
    > >
    > > Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.
    > >
    > > You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do
    > > something but not both.
    > >
    > > Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
    > > during commercials.
    > >
    > > ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a
    > > color.
    > >
    > > If it itches, it will be scratched.
    > >
    > > Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
    > >
    > > If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act
    > > like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just
    > > not worth the hassle.
     
  2. UseYourBlinker

    UseYourBlinker 1 ton status

    Joined:
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    <blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr>

    Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

    <hr></blockquote>

    That's what I'm talking about /forums/images/icons/smile.gif
     
  3. rockink5

    rockink5 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2002
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    693
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    Location:
    Tracy, CA
    And thats the honest truth
     
  4. LKJR

    LKJR 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2000
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    2,116
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    Location:
    Lubbock, Tx
    AMEN BROTHER!!!!!!!!
     

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