Number 3 A man bumps into a Woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says "Ma'am,if your heart is as soft as your breast I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow,I'm in room 221." Number 2 One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?" Number 1 A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago." Well," Granny snickered, "Let's relive some old times." Whereupon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your tea and the Other is in your porridge."