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Top 30 of something (funny list)

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by balzackks84, Jul 13, 2003.

  1. balzackks84

    balzackks84 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

    Aug 22, 2002
    Likes Received:
    portland, oregon
    1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

    2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

    3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

    4. Love is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

    5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

    6. No one is listening to you, until you fart.

    7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

    8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

    9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

    10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

    11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

    12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

    13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

    14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

    15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

    16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

    17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

    18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

    19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

    20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

    21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

    22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

    23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

    24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

    25. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass...then things get worse.

    26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

    27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

    28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

    29. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday...around age eleven.

    30. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
  2. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

    Nov 6, 2000
    Likes Received:
    portland oregon
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
  3. k5ntexas

    k5ntexas 1/2 ton status

    Oct 29, 2001
    Likes Received:
    corpus christi, texas.
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
  4. Confedneck

    Confedneck 3/4 ton status

    Nov 1, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Lehigh Acres, Florida
    [ QUOTE ]
    30. Everyone seems normal until they become orange..

    [/ QUOTE ]
    LOL /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
  5. mud390

    mud390 1/2 ton status

    Oct 31, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Little Rock, Arkansas
    Good stuff!!!! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
  6. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status Premium Member

    Jun 30, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Salem, Or.
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

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