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TOP 8 MORONS OF 2003

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Chevit, Jul 23, 2004.

  1. Chevit

    Chevit 1/2 ton status

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    TOP 8 MORONS OF 2003

    1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
    AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

    2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
    Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

    3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
    An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

    4. THE GETAWAY!
    A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

    5. DID I SAY THAT???
    Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a line-up. When detectives asked each man in the line-up to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "that's not what I said!"

    6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
    A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!

    7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
    In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.(hellllllooooooo!)

    8. THE GRAND FINALE
    Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, Cal. some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied... After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough top side check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER... THIS IS TRUE .. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer..
     
  2. DBLAZER

    DBLAZER 1/2 ton status

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    Those are good!!!
     
  3. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  4. unclematty

    unclematty 1/2 ton status

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    truth is always stranger then fiction /forums/images/graemlins/yikes.gif
     
  5. uao85

    uao85 1/2 ton status

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    trailer!!!!! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  6. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    And we're just now discussing ridiculous phone bills in another thread... Guess the above is what we're ACTUALLY paying for.
    /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif
     
  7. BlazerGuy

    BlazerGuy 3/4 ton status

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    #9. TIMMAY!!
     
  8. mudjunkie 82

    mudjunkie 82 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  9. k5freak44

    k5freak44 1/2 ton status

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    #10. LEGAL DRINKING AGE (true story)
    A masked man walks into a local 7-11 and holds, the eployee working there, up with a gun. He tells the clerk to take all the money out of the register and to place it on the end of the counter in a paper bag. While the clerk is doing this, the man goes to the drinks area and gets a 12 pack of Bud Lite. He goes to grab the money with the 12 pack under his arm and just as he is fixing to haul the clerk tells him he cant have the beer unless he sees id. The masked man pulls out his drivers license and shows it to the clerk. The man then runs off with the beer and his money...
     
  10. uglychevyZZ4

    uglychevyZZ4 3/4 ton status

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    [quote The masked man pulls out his drivers license and shows it to the clerk.

    [/ QUOTE ] /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gifmoron
     

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