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Top Idiots of 2005

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Muddytazz, Jan 5, 2006.

  1. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    TOP IDIOTS OF 2005




    No. 1 Idiot of 2005

    I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at a poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she found her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation, happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her she had better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

    No. 2 Idiots of 2005
    Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

    No. 3 Idiot of 2005
    A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was
    arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

    No. 4 Idiot of 2005
    A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained a photo of a pair, this time of handcuffs.
    He immediately mailed in his $40.

    No. 5 Idiot of 2005
    A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21, and he put the Scotch into the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that she got from the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

    No. 6 Idiot of 2005
    A pair of Michigan robbers entered! a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

    No. 7 Idiot of 2005
    Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

    No. 8 Idiot of 2005
    Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

    Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote.
     
  2. santana

    santana 1/2 ton status

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    My vote is for contestant #4
     
  3. txfiremank5

    txfiremank5 1/2 ton status

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    40 dollars for a speeding ticket .. :eek1: when, in 1976 !!! :p: Heck if tickets were that cheap I'd blow past a cop just to see the look on his face. :D
     
  4. lamberthkp

    lamberthkp SITFU Premium Member

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    ant poison dang that women's a tool. bank of america FUNNY SH*t!!!
     
  5. bigjbear

    bigjbear 1 ton status Staff Member Moderator

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    2005??? Those are all at least 10 yrs old.
     
  6. roadnotca

    roadnotca 3/4 ton status

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    Some of the Darwin Award candidates?
     

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