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True Court Statements

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Chevit, Jul 16, 2003.

  1. Chevit

    Chevit 1/2 ton status

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    > > > COURT COMMENTS
    > > These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken
    >down and now published by court reporters. How did they keep from
    >laughing while these were all taking place?
    > > ______________________________________________
    > > Judge: "Well, Sir, I have reviewed this case and I've decided to
    >give your wife $775 a week."
    > > Husband: "That's fair, your honor. I'll try to send her a few bucks
    >myself."
    > > ______________________________________________
    > > Q: What is your date of birth?
    > > A: July fifteenth.
    > > Q: What year?
    > > A: Every year
    > > ______________________________________________
    > > Q: What gear were you in at moment of the impact?
    > > A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
    > > ______________________________________________
    > > Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    > > A: Yes.
    > > Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    > > A: I forget.
    > > Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something you've
    >forgotten?
    > > ______________________________________________
    > > Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
    > > A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
    > > Q: How long has he lived with you?
    > > A: Forty-five years.
    > > ______________________________________________
    > > Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up
    >that morning?
    > > A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
    > > Q: And why did that upset you?
    > > A: My name is Susan.
    > > ______________________________________________
    > > And where was the location of the accident?
    > > A: Approximately milepost 499.
    > > Q: And where is milepost 499?
    > > A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
    > > ______________________________________________
    > > Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
    > > A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
    > > ______________________________________________
    > > Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
    > > A: After the accident?
    > > Q: Before the accident.
    > > A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I even went to school for it.
    > > ______________________________________________
    > > Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue
    >lights flashing?
    > > A: Yes.
    > > Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
    > > A: Yes, sir.
    > > Q: What did she say?
    > > A: What disco am I at?
    > > _______________________________________________
    > > Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
    >he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
    > > A: Would you repeat that question, please?
    > > ______________________________________________
    > > Q: The youngest son, the 20-year old, how old is he?
    > > _______________________________________________
    > > Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
    > > _______________________________________________
    > > Q: So the date of conception of (the baby) was August 8th?
    > > A: Yes.
    > > Q: And what were you doing at that time?
    > > A: I resent that question.
    > > _______________________________________________
    > > Q: She had three children, right?
    > > A: Yes.
    > > Q: How many were boys?
    > > A: None.
    > > Q: Were there any girls?
    > > _______________________________________________
    > > Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
    > > A: Yes.
    > > Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
    > > _______________________________________________
    > > Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
    > > A: By death.
    > > Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
    > > _______________________________________________
    > > Q: Can you describe the individual?
    > > A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
    > > Q: Was this a male or a female?
    > > _______________________________________________
    > > Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
    > > that I sent to your attorney?
    > > A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
    > > _______________________________________________
    > > Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    > > A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
    > > _______________________________________________
    > > Q: All your responses must be oral, OK?
    > > A: OK.
    > > Q: What school did you go to?
    > > A: Oral.
    > > _______________________________________________
    > > Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    > > A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
    > > Q: And Mr.. Dennington was dead at the time?
    > > A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
    >autopsy on him.
    > > _______________________________________________
    > > Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
    > > _______________________________________________
    > > Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for
    >pulse?
    > > A: No.
    > > Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
    > > A: No.
    > > Q: Did you check for breathing?
    > > A: No.
    > > Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
    >the autopsy?
    > > A: No.
    > > Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    > > A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    > > Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
    > > A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
    >law somewhere.
     
  2. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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  3. k5ntexas

    k5ntexas 1/2 ton status

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  4. Goober

    Goober 1/2 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    > > Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for
    >pulse?
    > > A: No.
    > > Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
    > > A: No.
    > > Q: Did you check for breathing?
    > > A: No.
    > > Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
    >the autopsy?
    > > A: No.
    > > Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    > > A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    > > Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
    > > A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
    >law somewhere.


    [/ QUOTE ]




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  5. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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