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TwistedHumor.com Funnies of the Day - June 17, 2002

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, Jun 17, 2002.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    <><><><><>

    What I've Learned From Watching Porn

    Rated R

    1. Women wear high heels to bed.

    2. Men are never impotent.

    3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.


    4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not
    scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

    5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with
    sperm.

    6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

    7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

    8. Women always orgasm when men do.

    9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

    10. All women are noisy ****s.

    11. People in the 70s couldn't [censored] unless there was a wild guitar solo
    in the background.
    12. Those tits are real.

    13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his
    half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

    14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

    15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't
    disgusted!)

    16. Double penetration makes women smile.

    17. Asian men don't exist.

    18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the
    bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of [censored] out of you if you
    shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

    19. There's a plot.

    20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a
    woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

    21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.

    22. Men always pull out.

    23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend,
    she'll only be momentarily pissed off before [censored] the both of you.

    24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

    25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to
    remind her to "suck it".

    26. Assholes are clean.

    27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all
    parties concerned.

    28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's
    trousers and find a cock there.

    29. Men don't have to beg.

    30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand
    firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly
    on his hip.


    <><><><><>

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    <><><><><>


    QUICKIES - Rated G

    Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
    A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender!

    <><><><><>

    Program File of the Day - June 17, 2002:
    Cats and Dogs
    Rated R EXE 87KB
    What is the REAL definition of 'pussy' and 'bitch'?"
    http://www.twistedhumor.com/pp/2002/jun/17.php


    <><><><><>

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    <><><><><>

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