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UNIT SEVEN - Press Conference 200502

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Resurrection_Joe, Feb 13, 2005.

  1. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    LIVE FROM THE CAN CAN ROADSIDE OUTPOST SUPER BURRITO WAGON OF DOOM IN THE BLACK SAND TERRITORY OF THE AMERICAN COLLECTIVE

    The Unit Seven Autology cast is now taking any and all questions.


    Address all questions to me (RJ), Can Can, or Stave



    Also available for comments at thier liesure are: Stave, Can Can, Smallgirl 001/Tallgirl 001 (Can Can's kids), Faust (Can Can's pony) Oni (RJ's girl/friend), and Samhain (Oni's robot)




    I'm bored





    and this is good for character development

     
  2. Cricket

    Cricket 3/4 ton status

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    Well RJ I have more of a request than a question.

    As the All-Knowing-And-Powerful-RJ, I know you can help. Please make Stave post his mugshot, he's dodging.

    I want to see his tail.
     
  3. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    RJ:
    Ok, I'll try. *punches Stave in the face* POST UP BITCH!

    STAVE: *crying* OH DEAR GOD MY NOSEEEEEEEEEE MY NOSEEEEEEEEEE

    CAN CAN: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    RJ: CAN'T SEE THROUGH THE BLOOD STAVE!? MOUSE SLIPPERY WITH BLOOD!?

    STAVE: IT HURTS SO BAD OH DEAR LORD IT HURTTTTS SOOOOO BADDDDD

    RJ:
    Calm down Stave, you didn't get this upset last night when we sewed your leg back on

    STAVE:
    THAT WAS DIFFERENT! OH JESUS I THINK I JUST SUCKED BLOOD INTO MY LUNGS *coughs all over the place spraying the area with blood* YOUR KNUCKLES ARE METAL AND YOU KNOW IT!

    RJ: OK FINE! *puts a wadded shirt over Staves nose, electrical tapes all over the place, and jabs Stave in the heart with a hypo

    CAN CAN: What was that?

    RJ: Morphine.............. or insulin............. or sedative........... or poison

    STAVE: oooooh....... we're half wa..... there....... oh...... livin on a prayer

    RJ:
    Stave?

    STAVE: No more pudding

    RJ: Stave ???

    STAVE: No tounge RJ.........tastes baddddd

    CAN CAN:
    *stares*

    RJ: WHATTTTTTTTTTTT!?

    ONI: *scoots away*

    RJ: He's talking about beef tounge!

    CAN CAN: Well, he COULD be.........

    RJ: Screw you guys..... except Oni...... cause she's a girl
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2005
  4. beater_k20

    beater_k20 Banned

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    when does this group attent the Star Trek Convention?
     
  5. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    STAVE:
    Star Trek is for super pussies and total wankers

    RJ: Star Trek was never as cool as Star Wars, and Star Wars wasn't that cool

    CAN CAN: I know a song about an oil refinery

    RJ: I KNOW YOU KNOW QUIT TELLING ME OVER AND OVER AND OVER

    CAN CAN: Did you pee yourself?

    RJ: No I'm sweaty

    CAN CAN: Why?

    STAVE: Probably thinking about boobies

    RJ: *thinking about boobies*

    CAN CAN: RJ?

    RJ: ......

    CAN CAN: RJ?

    RJ: ......

    CAN CAN:
    RJ?

    RJ: ......

    STAVE: Hey Canny, want to go get some margaritas?

    CAN CAN: Where? We're in the middle of the desert?

    STAVE: From my magic dream jar!

    CAN CAN: That's just a jar of ether Stave

    STAVE: *inhales deeply*

    CAN CAN:
    Stave?

    STAVE: .......

    CAN CAN: ****, I have two sleeping kids, a robot, and a scary girl

    ONI: I kind of liked Star Trek

    CAN CAN: Really? Cause I kind of liked it too, I was....

    RJ: PUSSY!

    STAVE: SOD OFF GLUE HEAD!
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2005
  6. beater_k20

    beater_k20 Banned

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    ...and crashing the Gay Rights Convention? that last one was funny! :D
     
  7. eclipse

    eclipse 1/2 ton status

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    "STAVE: SOD OFF GLUE HEAD!"

    He should stop with the self insults, its not mentally healthy :grin:
     
  8. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    RJ:
    It's a blues drive monster baby!

    STAVE: Did anyone ask a question, because if they did I didn't understand it

    CAN CAN: Some kind of blues bass riff

    RJ: Right, forever broke

    STAVE: WHAT!?

    ONI: Never seen a bluer sky

    STAVE: WHAT THE HELLLL!

    RJ: Life is just a dream you know...

    CAN CAN: Easy Love, Easy Come, Easy Go

    STAVE: I will hate you forever if you don't tell me what's going on!

    RJ: You can have tea parties with tall and small. Shooby Dooby

    CAN CAN: Feel no shame from shape

    ONI: It's up top you

    RJ: Tell me why, tell me why, tell me why

    STAVE: *monkeybites Can Can*

    CAN CAN: OUUUUUWUWWWWWWWWWW

    RJ: I think it's time to blow this scene, get everyone and their things together

    CAN CAN: I CAN'T LEAVE WITH A MONKEY ON MY LEG!

    ONI: All of which makes me anxious, at times, unbearabley so

    RJ: THREE TWO ONE LET'S JAM
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2005
  9. eclipse

    eclipse 1/2 ton status

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    and an Incubus concert?
     
  10. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    RJ:
    Stave wants to comment

    STAVE: Ok, so I started out in this bag right, and one day, RJ picks me up on a ramrod run through a zombie town with nothing on but his fancy shorts and a gunbelt and runs like it's bat country with too many cactus plants, no shoes and all, not that he wears shoes. Anyway, while I was bouncing around thinking about puddings, not that I really like bananas, it just seems proper, so PLOMP, out of the sack on the ground! RJ whips around and levels this monsterous penis compensator of a gun...

    RJ: Did Can Can tell you to say that !?

    ONI: Well SOMETHING has to compensate for it *giggle*

    RJ: *heartbroken*

    STAVE: Well, anyway, after being RUDELY INTERRUPTED, wait, that was now not then, so don't be confused. I was sitting there all grossy gross with twinkle toes and crying because I didn't know much and had bad finger strength for the pinball and the fooseball. So RJ he grabs me by the tail trying to decide if I'm an anomoly or not and jumpy jumps on this bike, a motorbike, not a bicycle, with a banana seat, like I said, I don't really enjoy bananas but..... Well we get going all speedy speedy down the six lane and he cuts into the automated part and it getting wonked about by the drones and he really can't drive a bike anyway, and we bite it hard and I wake up next to him, and he's just a big meat pile, but he's sitting in the sun crying over scratches on his but with an arm snappend in two up top by the shoulder. He cricky tapes it back and like a week later it was healed and we went to a city state and had some ice creams and RJ bought a magazine and hit on young Japanese girls in art bars with all the scars just finishing up healing and both eyes black. So in the end, Kirkegard Rumsteil really had a hard time making sandwihces in midevil France.

    RJ: Right
     
  11. eclipse

    eclipse 1/2 ton status

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    well then... seems like ol' Stavey might be a lost cause... kind of like those lame movies about raising the titanic with giant balloons.
     
  12. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    RJ: **** Incubus

    CAN CAN:
    Yeah....... hey where's all my Leafland beer with the widgets in em?

    STAVE: Uhhhhhhh

    CAN CAN: STAVE!?

    STAVE: ....but it's soooooooo fun! FOAMY FOAMY! RABIES!!!

    CAN CAN: You open it, you drink it! *force feeds Stave beer*

    *twenty minutes later*

    STAVE: *gurgle* summa comma steal my soulllll

    ONI: GHOST TRAIN!

    RJ: **** Incubus

    STAVE:
    *gurgle* but not Succubus' because that's how they steal your soul
     
  13. eclipse

    eclipse 1/2 ton status

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    widgets, aren't those the things from that one old school star trek with all those little mutliplying fuzzballs... damn star trek is brought up twice in this post, kinda like a double negative :mad:
     
  14. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    RJ: Stave wants to comment................again

    STAVE: Nononononono you see I really like to build model airplanes and other solitary stuff because RJ never plays with me, so I have to play with myself, and solitary is my favorite card came, along with Tin Roof and Neopolitan. So rasing boats with ballooons only works with airships like the Ragnarok (no relation to the pistol) or that one Aerith always wanted a ride on. So...... I think what I'm trying to say is that bass wood has it's charms, but steel wire rope does too, although in the end, it's all Santa's choice. I reallllly wish Santa was here!

    CAN CAN:
    I REALLLLLLY WISH I HAD SOME WIDGET BEER

    STAVE:
    I can make alcohol, I'm the god of alcohol

    RJ: That's Tetzecotl or something

    ONI: Or Dionososisusi or something

    CAN CAN: Magic me up some beer then

    STAVE:
    Ok! *walks away behind a rock face, comes back twenty minutes later*

    RJ: Stave, even at twenty feet I can tell you just pee'd in that class

    CAN CAN:
    Oh man

    RJ: Drink half Stave, then we'll try some

    STAVE: *drinks*

    CAN CAN:
    I'm just going to say it's beer and leave it at that, You can have the rest by the way.

    RJ: You want to talk to Santa Stave? I have his number in my Pandora

    STAVE: You are the prince of lies!

    RJ: No, I am constantly honest, except when joking. I really do know him though. Not joking. He's getting pretty old though.
     
  15. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    CAN CAN: Those were tribbles

    RJ: OH MY GOD! YOU ****ING PUSSY!

    STAVE:
    SOD OFF GLUE HEAD!

    CAN CAN: I like it and so does Oni. I have it all on AJS7 Hard Media

    ONI: I just like RJ

    RJ: You're like my little Chii, Oni.

    ONI: THANK YOU!

    RJ: *smiley starry eyed*

    ONI: Rezzyki is a pervert!

    CAN CAN: HAHAHAHAHAHA

    ONI: Sorry, had to do it
     
  16. darkshadow

    darkshadow 1 ton status

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    please explane the romantic pictures of your monkey boy and the small pony?
     
  17. unclematty

    unclematty 1/2 ton status

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    RJ; Do you now or have you ever ever own a chain gun? and if so, do you plan on using it on anyone/anything anytime soon?
     
  18. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    RJ, you are a stone wack job :screwy: . I think that is why you fit in here.....:thumb:
     
  19. 84gmcjimmy

    84gmcjimmy 1 ton status

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    how come Staev is alone? RJ has Oni, and Can Can has small girl and tall girl 001? But stave has nothing
     
  20. OrangeCrushK10

    OrangeCrushK10 1/2 ton status

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    "I’ve got the world on a string
    I’m sitting on a rainbow
    Got the string around my finger
    What a world, what a life - I’m in love

    I’ve got a song that I sing
    I can make the rain go
    Any time I move my finger
    Lucky me, can’t you see - I’m in love

    Life’s a wonderful thing
    As long as I hold the string
    I’d be a silly so-and-so
    If I should ever let her go"
    Why?
    BECAUSE I'M FRANK F*CKING SINATRA, B*TCH! AND I CAN HIJACK ANYTHING I WANT!
    That's why.
    This has been an Evil Hench Monkey production. We now return you to your previously scheduled programming. Thank you....
    ...F*CKING B*TCH...
     

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