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Upraded Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by dontoe, Mar 27, 2005.

  1. dontoe

    dontoe 3/4 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

    In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialisation, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Food Fight 10.3, Boys Night 2.5, Beer & Curry Club 2.0, Piss Head 1.0, Saturday Rugby 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system when ever loaded.

    I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favourite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall feature does not work on Wife 1.0

    Can you help me please?

    Thanks!

    Dave.

    ----------------

    Dear Dave,

    This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend x.0 to Wife1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

    Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by it's creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing would be gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0, but end up with more problems than with the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/ Child Support."

    I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPF's), which tells you that you must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause.

    The best course of action would be to enter C:\Apologize\Grovel\Kissup.exe. In any case, avoid excessive use of the ESC key because ultimately you will have to give to load up the KISSUP executable before the system will function properly again. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all GPF's.

    Wife 1.0 may be a great program but is a very unstable OS. Consider buying additional software to improve performance, I recommend Flowers 2000, Chocolates 5.03, and Diamond drivers and patches. Lastly, do not UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, install Secretary in ShortSkirt 3.3. This is not supported by Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the OS.

    Best of Luck,

    Tech Support
     
  2. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    R E S P O S T, Find Out What It Means To Me, Sock It To Me
     
  3. bigcountryk5

    bigcountryk5 1/2 ton status

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    never seen that before pretty dang funny! :D
     
  4. Thunder

    Thunder 3/4 ton status

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    I installed "Wife 1.0" Over 20 years ago.
    Before comps were cool.
    Been the greatest most stable program I ever installed. :thumb:
     

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