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WARNING! Low carb diet ice cream has violent effects! Not for the squeemish

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Desert Rat, Apr 27, 2004.

  1. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    Ok, I use the Atkins diet periodically to drop some lbs. Works really well and I feel great during and after generally speaking. I cut down on the sugars, aka carbohydrates, but keep up on the vitamins and healthy greens. So, I'm in the grocery store and what do I spy in the ice cream section? Yes, you guessed it, low carb mint chocolate chip ice cream. Made by a co. called "Carb Solutions", who makes low carb candy and other low carb products. I'm slap happy with excitement since mint choco is one of my favorites, next to german chocolate cake ice cream.

    I get home, put the rugrats to bed, and scoop me up a giant bowl of the stuff. Anybody see that movie some years back where some evil entity was feeding everyone this pink pudding/marshmellow like stuff that was taking control of their bodies? Yep, except the only part it took control of was my lower intestinal tract. I hit the sack a couple of hours later after a late night of Internet surfing of religious sites /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif.

    Picture the wee hours of the morning and I am awakened by the sound, and feeling, of my lower intestines gurgling loudly. No, let's call it rumbling. Perhaps not strong enough. It sounded more like the road into Sturgis on opening day of the hog run. A few minutes later, I'm Ben Johnson receiving a gold medal for my dash to the growler. I may have even burned the carpet. My feet were peddling so fast I put Fred Flintstone and his lowrider to shame. I'm George Jetson on the treadmill all the way there. I get to the head and spend the next hour with the most violent, explosive, painful, loud, boisterous, torturous case of the Rocky Mountain Quickstep I've had since I lived in the slums of the Republic of China many years ago. We aren't talking minor discomfort here. We are talking dueling tubas. We are talking 454 V8 w/ radical cam, 750 dual feed double pumping open headers with no mufflers foot to the floor roaring. We are talking Bonneville land speed record exhaust. We are talking space shuttle liftoff. Oh, and quantity? Let's not even go there. Finally, an hour plus later, I'm drained, literally. I feel like I went 20 rounds with Mike Tyson, without a cup (or ear protection).

    So, being a reasonably intelligent adult of sound mind, do I put two and two together? No I don't. In the spirit of putting my stupid D60 brake caliper bracket on before my spindle (see other post for confession), I load up another bowl tonight of mint chocky low carb ice cream and sit down to the keyboard tonight. The grumbling has already started........ /forums/images/graemlins/doah.gif
     
  2. sled_dog

    sled_dog 1 ton status

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    hmm dad hasn't reported same information, good thing I haven't been so desperate for ice cream to eat his.
     
  3. Stomper

    Stomper ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ GMOTM Winner

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    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  4. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    Still here, but I feel like I'm riding a Schwinn Stingray down a cobblestone street. I may be taking a pillow and blanket to the head tonight and making a marathon of it.
     
  5. Okiemuddog

    Okiemuddog 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/yikes.gif /forums/images/graemlins/yikes.gif /forums/images/graemlins/shame.gif /forums/images/graemlins/shame.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  6. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    Spoke too soon. "That's all I can stands, and I can't stands no more....." I'll be holding court on the porcelain throne for the next few hours, if any of my loyal subjects need me. I guess on the bright side, I'll lose a few more lbs..... /forums/images/graemlins/whistling.gif
     
  7. big pappa b

    big pappa b 3/4 ton status

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    That's very common with low carb type foods. They sweeten it with something wonderful called malitol. That's what gave you that wonderful experience. It's usually in low carb protein bars and most things low carb that are "Chocolate"
    Be sure to read the labels and take it easy on that stuff
     
  8. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    Re: WARNING! Low carb diet ice cream has violent effects! Not for the squee

    Yeah don't get too far into a box of anything low carb, stick with meat, whiskey, and water

    Of course not being able to retain any food in your body helps with the weight loss
     
  9. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    Re: WARNING! Low carb diet ice cream has violent effects! Not for the squee

    This morning was much better. I think that ice cream must be 90% malitol and Splenda. The missus nearly Lorena Bobbitt'ed me during the night and I had to sleep on the couch. Hey, gas is just a natural (ok, maybe supernatural in this case) bodily function.... /forums/images/graemlins/whistling.gif
     
  10. big pappa b

    big pappa b 3/4 ton status

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    Re: WARNING! Low carb diet ice cream has violent effects! Not for the squee

    The Splenda should be ok just watch out for malitol. You shouldn't be afraid to use it just go gently
     
  11. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    Re: WARNING! Low carb diet ice cream has violent effects! Not for the squee

    I'll have to add Malitol to my list of things I eat on camping trips to liven things up. Along with the usual beans, beer, red meat, and split pea soup that results in several renditions of the Blazing Saddles campfire scene as well as ejection from the tent by my fellow campers at some point.... /forums/images/graemlins/woot.gif
     
  12. jjlaughner

    jjlaughner 3/4 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif Hope you took a shower afterwards /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif

    *marking off low carb ice cream from shopping list*

    [ QUOTE ]
    Still here, but I feel like I'm riding a Schwinn Stingray down a cobblestone street. I may be taking a pillow and blanket to the head tonight and making a marathon of it.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Sleep in the shower /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif /forums/images/graemlins/doah.gif
    Its a shorter hop to the throne and JUST IN CASE easy cleanup /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif

    Instead of the Ice cream try this... I really like it (since I dont like the Atkin diet)
    Head to the local GNC or where-ever, buy a big thing of mint chocolate chip protien shake. Add two scoops to a blender, 2 cups of ICE COLD 1% milk, and a hand full, or two, of ice.... Blend till you have no more chunks! WHALA Mint Chocolate chip milk shake /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif

    Like Snickers bars?
    2scoops reg chocolate protien shake mix
    1 spoon full of peanut butter (chuncky - adds more flavor)
    1/2 cup cottage cheese
    2 cups 1% (or skim) milk
    handfull of ice to keep it cold
    Blend and WHALA! Snickers smoothie/milk shake /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif

    Speaking of /forums/images/graemlins/thinking.gif I think I'll head that way right now
     
  13. Capman2k

    Capman2k 3/4 ton status

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    I hate all that low carb crap... The stuff my parents bring home is just disgusting... Last weekend my parents forgot to buy regular wheat bread for me... So I was forced to make a sandwich with their low carb stuff...

    Good god... I took it out of the package and it didn't even feel like bread. That was the first sign I ignored... So I put it on a plate and it's all flimsy and crap... sign number two... Then I threw some tuna salad on there and threw it on the grill (grilled tuna sandwich.. mmmmmmmmmmmm)... It sat there for ever and a day. The stuff won't get toasty!!! So I had warm, soggy tuna sandwiches for lunch and then went to the store for some REAL bread...

    Oh and on top of all that, it tasted like crap... I'm never going on a diet, ever ever ever... Especially a low carb diet...
     
  14. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    Some naturally low carb stuff can be miiiiiiiiighty tasty. Meat comes to mind. But, many companies are jumping on the low carb bandwagon and their products taste like crap.
     
  15. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    Re: WARNING! Low carb diet ice cream has violent effects! Not for the squee

    WHen you get back to the days before all the LOWCARB stuff came out and all you ate was meat and water it was a lot better. Sugar alcohol makes me sickkkkkk
     
  16. nc87k5

    nc87k5 3/4 ton status

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  17. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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