Background. So I am getting married in may. Been together for nearly 5 years. Big wedding party (7 bridesmaids, 7 groomsmen). Big wedding (250+ on the invite list). Living together since august. -Her parents are covering wedding reception and ceremony. -My parents are covering rehearsal dinner and honey moon. ----->Question<----- With nearly 40 people on the basic rehearsal dinner list (wedding party + significant others, our parents, clergy, etc) my parents had asked to keep the invite to those in the wedding (no extended family or out of towner's). She has 10 people (aunts/uncles/cousins) coming from out of town and her parents are very upset about the situation. My parents wish for the limit not out of money but to keep the evening a little more intimate and give the parents more time to meet the wedding party (We all live in the same city, 'cept my best man) and hold not feel rushed to mingle with 50+ people. I am offering to host a dinner at our house the night before the rehearsal with her out of towner's and close family. Her parents are taking the position of all out of town guests at the rehearsal dinner or they won't go. Basically all or none. How should I negotiate this situation? I have read for over an hour on the rehearsal invite etiquette and the census is out of town invites are optional. Thank you. God, what a wonderful start. PS she says no western tux, is there a non yuppie tux that won't be "hick" but I can get away with boots?