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We're lucky ba$tards!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by dontoe, Jan 31, 2006.

  1. dontoe

    dontoe 3/4 ton status GMOTM Winner

    May 7, 2004
    Likes Received:
    Hickory, N.C.
    Us men, that is! Just think..................

    Your last name stays put.
    The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is
    just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You
    can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water
    park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never
    have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just
    too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
    bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000, Tux
    rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The
    occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut,
    blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. It gets better.... or
    worse, depending on your gender;

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about
    tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your
    own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If
    someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your
    underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than
    enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to
    see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original
    color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to
    shave your face and neck. It gets even more extreme;

    You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big
    hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can
    wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a
    pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.. You
    can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
  2. spongeidys

    spongeidys 1/2 ton status

    Jul 6, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Dillion, CO and Palmerton, PA

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

    if someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

    best 2 ;D

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