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What do you do? *UPDATE* PICTURE ADDED!!!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by BIG*RED, Jun 6, 2005.

  1. BIG*RED

    BIG*RED 1/2 ton status

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    What do you do when you have been keeping a secret for a long time. and this secret is and has been for the past several months, tearing you up inside. And you think that you should come clean and tell the person that it involves. yet the person that it involves doesn't give a rats ass about you. and wants nothing to do with you, and won't even talk to you anyways. yet this secret has been killing you slowly from the inside, causeing you not to sleep at night for almost two weeks, causing you to "forget" to eat , and in turn lose 18 lbs in not even a month...(when i say foget, i mean my mind is else where, and i don't even think about eating), causing you to go days at a time without even getting out of bed.
    Everything inside of me screams to tell the person and to let it out. but another part of me screams, how can you do that when the person involved won't even speak to you, or even acknowledge your presence.
    And on top of all that, #1.you know that if you did tell this person, it could very well hurt this person even more than you are hurting. and you do not want to hurt this person, and #2. you know that if you tell this person, the person would become extreamly upset at you.
    what do you do?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 8, 2005
  2. stallion85

    stallion85 1/2 ton status

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    I am assuming you are in love with someone who wants nothing to do with you?

    I suggest you move on and look for someone else instead of letting some girl who cares nothing for you affect your life in such a serious matter.

    Oh ya, and if your secret is that you have been secretly video taping her in the bathroom, I would keep it to yourself :grin:
     
  3. sweetk30

    sweetk30 professional hooker Premium Member

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    try writing it down on paper and sticking it in envelope and puting it in a safe place and see what happens.:crazy:
     
  4. pvfjr

    pvfjr 1/2 ton status

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    Well if a person already doesn't give a crap about you, and doesn't acknowledge your presence, would it really be any worse if they're pissed at you? Now I'm a nice guy, and can really understand your reluctance to hurt someone, but at some point you have to worry about yourself too. Doesn't sound healthy. I'd let it out.
     
  5. BIG*RED

    BIG*RED 1/2 ton status

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    stallion85 ---I am assuming you are in love with someone who wants nothing to do with you?

    I suggest you move on and look for someone else instead of letting some girl who cares nothing for you affect your life in such a serious matter



    yes i'm in love with someone that wants nothing to do with me...but thats not what this is about....yes it involves this person, but has absolutly nothing to do with "trying to get back together" or anything like that..
    which is why i dont want to hurt the person...becasue of my feelings for said person..no matter what, i do not want to hurt this person...



    pvfjr ---Well if a person already doesn't give a crap about you, and doesn't acknowledge your presence, would it really be any worse if they're pissed at you? Now I'm a nice guy, and can really understand your reluctance to hurt someone, but at some point you have to worry about yourself too. Doesn't sound healthy. I'd let it out


    I agree with you to a point..your right if the person already doesn't give a crap, who cares if it upsets or hurts them...well I do, thats the problem..if i was never ever to see or hear from this person again..i would still feel like crap for hurting aand upseting this person..that just how i am..i would much rather go through hell myself, then hurt or upest someone else...



    sweetk30 ---try writing it down on paper and sticking it in envelope and puting it in a safe place and see what happens




    Thats a scarry thought, if i was to lose or misplace that piece of paper and it fell in to someone elses hands..i would be in a world of hurt and trouble..
     
  6. google

    google 1/2 ton status

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    Tell her that her boyfriend is cheating on her and leave out the part that you've known for a long time without telling her. If you have proof, then bring it, but if not, i'm assuming that may be another reason why you think she will be pissed at you. Maby think you are making it up. Either way, if you care for her, tell her. Procrastinating it will only hurt her more in the end. She will find out eventually, then where will she/you be? If not, then take some dang sleeping pills and sell your weight loss invention to jenny creig. Maby that will help the Clinton sucker.
     
  7. BIG*RED

    BIG*RED 1/2 ton status

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    thats not it..
    its something i did...and no i didn't cheat or anything like that..
    plus it involves more people than my ex...it involves several people.

    not gonna get into details on here..but the question i posed was NOT.."guess what my secret is"
    the question i posed was "what do you do when its tearing you up inside"
    forget that the ex is even involved...just think to yourself..what would you do, if you knew something, something terriable, something really bad..and you have been keeping it inside..so as to not hurt anyone..yet its killing you..
     
  8. google

    google 1/2 ton status

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    well then at minimum, take the advice of tell her before it gets worse. Whatever you do, don't do what you usualy do. That doesn't help the situation. If you feel that it won't ever come out and nomatter what I say you won't tell her, then you need to tell someone that will listen and give input. Not someone that knows her, but someone that will never know her and wouldn't rat you out.... that way it's in the open and you can get an honest openion on your problem. The beating around the bush isn't going to get you the best answer.
     
  9. firefighter184

    firefighter184 1/2 ton status

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    Throw rocks at her while you tell her. Then she'll be too busy dodging rocks to be mad about the secret.

    Just Kidding.

    Ya gotta look out for Number 1 (that's you dude, not her). Get it off yer chest and roll with it.
     
  10. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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    I'll second that (not the rocks...)

    Rene
     
  11. 89GMCSuburban

    89GMCSuburban 1/2 ton status

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    Come clean
     
  12. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    Just tell her. Your only other alternative is obviously continueing to feel like crap about it.

    If she'll be pissed, she'll be pissed. It sounds like something she'll find out eventually anyway, so come clean before there's too much dirt on top to dig your way out.
     
  13. BIG*RED

    BIG*RED 1/2 ton status

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    [ so come clean before there's too much dirt on top to dig your way out.[/QUOTE]



    there is already to much dirt, and as i stated this involves more than just her, it also involves several family members, and a few friends, a couple people in so cal, and two people in north carolina...

    thats why this is buggin me..i know for some reason you're all focused on the fact that my ex is in the picture. but like i stated more than once, its not something compleatly about her..yes i will admidt, she is probably the one that i'm most concerned about hurting and upseting,(merley because i love her) but the part that has to do with her is actually a really small part in the "big picture"

    but i hear what most of you are saying..and that is too come clean...but i don't know if i have the courage to do so...
     
  14. fordeater

    fordeater 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    well, you know what you have to do to remedy the situation. ITs up to you to build the courage and do it. Otherwise, you will remain in the same situation you are in right now being torn up inside. just go fix it
     
  15. firefighter184

    firefighter184 1/2 ton status

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    A few things I have learned in my 31 years of life:

    1) A real friend always prefers the truth
    2) Suffering for others is not always a noble thing
    3) Secrets ALWAYS come out; make sure it's on your terms
    4) Lady Luck is a dirty whore
    5) Sauerkraut makes me gassy


    It takes a lot of testicular fortitude to do what you need to do, and I wish you the best of luck with your decision. It's easy for me to sit here at a keyboard and say "Go for it, dude!", not knowing what the deal is or who you really are, but at the end of the day, you gotta do what's best for your own peace and mental health.
     
  16. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    Edited.

    Inappropriate humor attempt removed...
     
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2005
  17. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    Just send her a email telling her what's up.
     
  18. ronnny

    ronnny 1/2 ton status

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    Just do what you need to to feel better yourself. Don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff. Look at the bright side of everything and be happy of all that you can. Losing sleep will not get you anything so just do what you need to and live right. That is the problem with doing something wrong in the first place. No use in keeping bad secrets to begin with. Tell whoever and get it over with it will all work out in the end. Then no more hiding anything or secrets. It's all good.
    Start reading in proverbs and you will learn alot about not needing to talk about peoplebad when they are or not around and how all these bad deeds just come back at you. Live right and be happy. All these secrets you find out just bring bad times. Get clear of them.
     
  19. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Suck it up. Tell the truth. Deal with the consequences. That's what men do.

    Sorry, but where I come from, there is no other option. Not telling the truth is the same as lying. Liars lack integrity and honor, and without honor a man is nothing. Do the right thing, and you'll be able to look in the miror again. You'll feel better in the long run.
     
  20. Capman2k

    Capman2k 3/4 ton status

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    Yeah, pretty much what everyone else said... Tell her... Shoot, you might be pleasantly surprised to find out you're over-reacting and things aren't really as bad as you think... Whatever the outcome, I'd say your only logical option is to tell the truth... The longer you hide it, the worse off things will be when the truth finally does come out...
     

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