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What My Mother Taught Me

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Confedneck, Jan 19, 2004.

  1. Confedneck

    Confedneck 3/4 ton status

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    What my mother taught me......



    1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
    "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

    2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
    "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

    3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
    "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

    4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
    "Because I said so, that's why."

    5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
    'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

    6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
    "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

    7. My mother taught me IRONY.
    "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

    8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
    "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

    9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
    "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

    10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
    "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

    11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
    "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

    12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
    "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

    13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
    "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

    14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
    "Stop acting like your father!"

    15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
    There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

    16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
    "Just wait until we get home."

    17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
    "You are going to get it when you get home!"

    18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
    "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."

    19. My mother taught me ESP.
    "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

    20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
    "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me. "

    21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
    "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

    22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
    "You're just like your father."

    23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
    "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

    24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
    "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

    25. And my favorite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE.
    "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
     
  2. Stickseler

    Stickseler 3/4 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    25. And my favorite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE.
    "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"


    [/ QUOTE ]

    Yep that one came true...I'm in trouble /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif
     
  3. mudjunkie 82

    mudjunkie 82 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    LOL /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  4. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  5. Beast388

    Beast388 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  6. conoverbandit

    conoverbandit 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif
    I had heard some or most of those growing up /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif, Thanks for the memories...........................
     
  7. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  8. clubba68

    clubba68 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  9. lady bog

    lady bog 1/2 ton status

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    Reminds me of my Grandma R.I.P.

    funny though /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  10. SUBFAN

    SUBFAN 1/2 ton status

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    Did we have the same mother????

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  11. Beast388

    Beast388 1/2 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    Did we have the same mother????

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Kelly, you could be Confed's dad!! /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/ignore.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    J/K! /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  12. SUBFAN

    SUBFAN 1/2 ton status

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    Good thing neither of us are from W Virginia, or they would be talking /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif



    Flame suit ON
     
  13. Confedneck

    Confedneck 3/4 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    [ QUOTE ]
    Did we have the same mother????

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Kelly, you could be Confed's dad!! /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/ignore.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    J/K! /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

    [/ QUOTE ]

    damn hes that old?? /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  14. Beast388

    Beast388 1/2 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    Good thing neither of us are from W Virginia, or they would be talking /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif



    Flame suit ON

    [/ QUOTE ]

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     

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