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What the hell just happened in my life?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by xblaxermnx, May 7, 2006.

  1. xblaxermnx

    xblaxermnx Registered Member

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    OK, so I know this is a pretty heavy topic, but I feel that I need to get this out.

    Ive been quite the lurker for a few years, but have got a lot of good ideas and laughs from all you guys. The is a great forum and I am proud to be here.

    Now for my issue. It is my wife. We have been married for about 14 years and have know each other for 20. She has been talkin to this guy on the I-net for around 18 mos and it seems kinda wierd. Now she tells me that see feels we got married to young and she wants to experience new things. She says that she wants an open marriage with freedom to do what she and I want, as long as we are safe.

    The guy she is talking to is moving here to find work and I can see where this is going. Having said that, I have already found someone. I have known her for about 7 years and we have flirted all the time, but I was married and all it ever was friends, but after the bombshell I was handed, I called her. We have went out a couple of times and even spent the weekend together. My wife does know and told me not to stand her up.


    I really dont know what to do. On one hand I still love my wife, but am at a loss as to her mind set right now. I really do like the person I called, she is a sweet person and has been giving me the attention I was missing for the 18 mos my wife was kinda M.I.A. I really look forward to going out with her again, she is a fun and energentic person.

    I useto be able to guaranty that I would be married to, lets call her M, till the day I die. Now I really do not know if this is going to last 6 mos. The *other woman*, lets call her K, has stated that she is looking for a husband or at least a steady relationship.

    Crap, I am lost, What the fock do I do?


    I need a beer
     
    Last edited: May 7, 2006
  2. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    Jesus Beaaaaaaaaammmmmmmuuuuuuuu
     
  3. surpip

    surpip 1 ton status

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    ok what happened?
     
  4. xblaxermnx

    xblaxermnx Registered Member

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    Sorry bout that, hit the enter button to soon. Had to edit the post.


    Damn noob!
     
  5. surpip

    surpip 1 ton status

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    drop one pick up the other
    done deal
    dont spend time with people you dont want or need in your life.
     
  6. 79k20350

    79k20350 3/4 ton status

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    you have kids...?that could complicate it... i think you need to sit down and have a long chat with your wife and find out exactly what you both want.
     
  7. beater_k20

    beater_k20 Banned

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    head for the hills!

    hate to be blunt, but if this guy is moving into your area, and suddenly she wants an open relationship, either she wants to, or already has at least met him, if not more. if she's gonna pull crap like that, its a done deal, get out while the gettin is good.

    and take it slow and easy with the other chick too.
     
  8. jekbrown

    jekbrown I am CK5 Premium Member GMOTM Winner Author

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    she wants something other than you... divorce and move on.

    j
     
  9. Capman2k

    Capman2k 3/4 ton status

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    dust your feet and walk away... don't bother meeting other women for meaningful relationships, they're probably going to be the same way...
     
  10. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    People change. Let her go and continue on with life........................
     
  11. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Oh yeah I'd be movin on...
     
  12. xblaxermnx

    xblaxermnx Registered Member

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    No kids here (tragic puberty accident:crazy: )so that wouldn't be a prob. What about counseling?
     
  13. surpip

    surpip 1 ton status

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    you or her? just curious
     
  14. ryoken

    ryoken Puppy Fabricator Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    maybe, but i doubt it'll help....

    it'll never be the same, the damage is done... the hardest decisions are the ones your involved in... I wish I had an outside perspective when my marriage was breaking up...

    know you don't want to hear it in your heart, but the guys are right, time to move on probably...
     
  15. cbbr

    cbbr 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Just send me $5000 and walk away. Seriously doo, sounds like a waste of $$ and time. Time to move on.

    At some point divorce is really just a financial transaction - if its time to move on, split the stuff and split. No need to make it bad, or worse and give all of your $$ to counslers and lawyers.......
     
  16. mud hungry

    mud hungry 1/2 ton status

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    I am sorry to put this out there but how serious were the both of you when you took the vows of death do you part. How did you two feel when you were first together. you two should really sit down together and talk about where you guys have been and where you want to go. Together Hopefully. But it is your choice.
     
  17. xblaxermnx

    xblaxermnx Registered Member

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    Eh, its me :doah: doc confirmed that last week. Somthing about attemption to jump a 10speed bike and not landing right :eek1: :crazy:
     
  18. walla2k5

    walla2k5 1/2 ton status

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    I'm gonna have to agree with the majority here, time to move on. Good luck.
     
  19. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Well, brother, I'm sorry to say it but it sounds to me like it's over between you and your wife, whether you like it or not.......

    First of all, she's been chatting another guy up on the internet for 18 months. That's wrong, plain and simple. If I caught Kim doing that, there would be hell to pay. If I caught her a second time, she'd be out on her ass. And, FWIW, if she caught me doing the same thing she'd probably cut my dink off in the middle of the night. Why the heck didn't you tell her to stop her online affair when you first found out about it?

    Secondly, in her mind the marriage is over. I'll tell you something, and you probably already know this- when a woman makes up her mind, there's almost NO WAY of changing it. So if she's already figured out that she no longer wants to be in a monogamous relationship, nothing you can do or say will make her change her mind. I personally couldn't sleep at night if I knew my wife was out banging some other guy, even though she "loved" me. And you can bet that's what's gonna happen when buddy moves to town. :deal:

    Thirdly, you can't really be that broke up about things if you were able to go and start up a new relationship with another woman. To be honest, you're commiting adultery too. If I was in the process of losing my wife, the last thing that would be on my mind was chasing tail. So are you really that upset about this whole situation? You're not acting like it.

    So in closing, I concur with the other guys. Make the inevitable split as friendly as possible so you don't spend all your money on lawyers. Let her go and don't look back. Let this new girl help you work this through- if she stands by your side and supports you during the divorce proceedings, she may be a keeper. And, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, LET YOUR SOON-TO-BE EX-WIFE SLIP BACK INTO YOUR LIFE, EVEN FOR A HARMLESS QUICKY. If you want to get over her, you need to make the break as clean and as permanent as possible.

    Sorry if it sounds like I'm busting your balls, brother, but the truth hurts. I'm willing to bet that you already know that everything the Brotherhood is telling you is bang on. Anyhow, good luck, my friend. Keep us posted.
     
  20. xblaxermnx

    xblaxermnx Registered Member

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    Thanks for the straight talk everybody. I know i really should have been more forcefull about stopping the online convos dead cold. My problems was when we would have the talks about this issue (fights really) she would assure me it was just friends. I believed her and trusted her, but with him moving here I think I may be at the end.

    Can, you are one hundred percent correct. I made a mistake, K was there and we started talking and one thing lead to another. Yes I am upset about the whole thing, just reallly in denile.



    Thanks again everybody, you have pretty much reaffirmed what I thought. You guys are great and straight shooters.


    Christ, looks like I need to find a new place :mad:
     

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