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What would you do if...

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by 68MUDSTUD, Sep 1, 2006.

  1. 68MUDSTUD

    68MUDSTUD OCD with shiny things

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    ok imagine this. You are 18 years old, just turned. you go up to your mother's house, for the 4th of july, with fun things planned for the agenda. you and your mom dont get along very well, but you try to get along with her as much as you can. You still dont have your own wheels. one day, you and your mother get into a BIG argument and she has a "poor me" attitude all of the time, and she threatens you that if you dont start being nicer to her, that she'll take you home RIGHT NOW.

    You've had enough of her "Poor Me" atitude and say "Fine. I really dont care anymore." so she actually does take you home. but on the way down there, she starts telling you how you were a mistake, that your dad's condom broke, and you have been a mistake all along.

    She precedes to tell you these things, along with the fact that "She tried to kill you by rolling 2 vehicles and falling down the stairs." porposely.

    THEN you find out that ALL of the money, and CD's, AND savings bonds that your grandparents had for you, (They gave you at least one savings bond every christmas) are gone. You find out one day that your grandparents had given her everything, hoping she would put it all in a savings account for you.

    You ask your "Mother" where it all is, so you can use it for the intended reason (college). she says, "I have no idea what you are talking about. i have never seen anything like that." You know it is a lie.

    What would you do?


    ps. sorry guys, just had to get it out in the open... been thinkin about it alot lately.
     
  2. ChickenRammit

    ChickenRammit 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    i would stay as far away from her as possible so that i don't end up in prison
     
  3. greywolf

    greywolf 1/2 ton status

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    what he said x2
     
  4. NEK5

    NEK5 3/4 ton status Premium Member

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    hey i`m sorry man, i feel for ya,in somewhat the same situation, except not, if that makes sense, just keep looking around for people who can help you in figuring out how to go about it the right way
     
  5. Storm Trooper

    Storm Trooper 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    1st, I'm really sorry to hear that. It sucks when you can't even count on family or more so parents. Take this only as an idea but anything that happens is all up to you. Make sure you think things out carefully before you do anything stupid.
    I would say you should let your grandparents know that you never received any of their gifts. It might not do you any good but at least they will know where you stand and her. Obviously they care about you.
    As for your mom (if you can call her that), move on and stay away from her.
    Either she just wants you to leave and is using this tactic to get you out or she is real but either way you need to get away from her. Move on with your life. You CAN make it without her help and the better you do, the worst you will make her feel for sending you away from her life. Prove her wrong and show her that you are far better then her. You can do it.
    Maybe it's like that Johnny Cash song where he named his son after a girl to make him tough. Be tough (not mean or hateful).
     
  6. Corey 78K5

    Corey 78K5 1 ton status

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    Well if the other parent was a stand up one I would probably embrace them. But before that I would probably give a big and firm Fock Off notice to the uncaring parent. I would also keep in the back of My mind the intent that My Grandparents had for Me and cherish it. I would also let said parent know that their failure at trying to keep Me from entering the world is gonna haunt them till the day they die.
     
  7. NoReGrEtS

    NoReGrEtS 1/2 ton status

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    I know where your coming from, I wouldn't even make the effort to talk to them. I don't call my dad, I'm better off.I try to do any thing and every thing to not end up like them. I know it sucks and what ever any body says still doesn't help. if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me
     
  8. 68MUDSTUD

    68MUDSTUD OCD with shiny things

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    thanks guys, means alot. i just been kinda down lately and needed to get it out of my mind. alot of weird sh!t is happening in my life, and after all, im a n00b.. i need guidance.i do not care to ever see my mom again. i probly wont even show up at her funeral. no tears shall be shed on her grave from me.and yes, my grandparents are awesome, i just dont know how to tell them what my mothers done without offending them, or making them feel bad. i already told my mom not to even contact me, and havent made any attempt to talk to her. it seems all i can turn to is my friends. and you are right, talking about it to them, doesnt really help, i guess this kind of crap is what makes a man expendable. ive been deep in thought all night about this, my blazer getting me to laramie, and friends. ive been thinking alot lately, about stuff i cannot even start to go into detail.
     
  9. justhorsinaround

    justhorsinaround 3/4 ton status

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    This is all shootin from the hip type stuff. Go and talk to your grandparents. They seem to have at least been looking out for your future. As far as your "Mom" goes I'd cut and run. My wife did this. She moved down here from Washington state for school and has never looked back. She wants to go visit from time to time but has absolutely no desire to move anywhere close to her family.
     
  10. NoReGrEtS

    NoReGrEtS 1/2 ton status

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    Johnny Cash - boy named Sue
     
  11. Thunder

    Thunder 3/4 ton status

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    Well you could always tell her that You love her.
    She is your mother .
    She brought you into this world.
    She didn't kill you.
    It is very strange what the the simple words "I love you" will do to a person.
    Maby she needs to hear them to shock her back into reality.
    Hate will never get you anywhere.
     
  12. kyser_soze

    kyser_soze 1/2 ton status

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    I would have a serious talk with your grandparents about what your 'mother' had stolen from you. To make sure they don't make anymore mistakes reguarding her. You may or may not be able to put a lein on her home reguarding your lost funds. It is worth looking into if the amount is significant.

    I would also try to avoid from contacting her until she wast to appologize to you. What you do when that happens, only you will be able to decide.

    Try to get some type of reliable inexpensive transportation so you can grow independant of her. Think about your own goals and start working on them.

    As far as noobdom, serious adult threads are a good start of getting out of that category.
     
  13. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    I also think you should tell your grandparents what she has done. I know it's hard, maybe print out this thread and hand it to them. I wouldn't make a big deal about the money at this point, it's gone, but let them know how your mom has hurt you.
     
  14. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

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    I'd definitely tell your grandparents what's gone on.. are they your moms parents, or your dads? perhaps they can give you some insight as to what demons your mom is wrestling with.. have incidents like this become a pattern? if so, how long has it been one?

    Not to excuse her actions, but it sounds like she's taking her frustrations out on you, rather than dealing with who or what her her problem is.. since you are around, you get to be the target.. where is your dad in all this?

    I agree with moving out, moving away, or doing what you can to minimize contact..for now.. love her from a distance, and don't do anything to throw gas on the fire before you go.. there's no need to add to the resentment and anger that's already there..

    Unfair as it may be, sometimes the kids have to end up being the emotional parent.. in my life, I've found it better to work at understanding and fixing my dad, rather than do what my older siblings did, which is move out with a hail of f**k yous, and flying gravel as they headed out into the world.. my family has literally lost years because nobody was willing to understand and help other family members.. ( we've since fixed things)

    I guess what I'm saying is that it's easy and emotionally satisfying to say screw off and never look back.. until somebody dies, and then you get to live with the regret of things not said and questions not asked..( ask me how I know).. I like what thunder said.. you gotta love her, no matter what.. it may be from a distance right now, but you have to be the adult, when the adults drop the ball.

    Tom
     
  15. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    Yep, have a long chat with them.
     
  16. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    I would guess that most breathing people are/were accidents, so I hope you're not dwelling on that. When the accident happens, it's a turning point in most people's lives. Most, not all. It sounds like your mom missed that turn and kept on driving.
    I think there are much deeper personal issues in your mom's life that go back before you. Maybe you're a projection of her regrets in life (not to be misunderstood as you're the cause of her problems; you're the vessel she's used to blame her problems on; be it a broken nail or the overall sh!tty state of her life).
    It sounds like you're still somewhat dependent on her, which is a bummer, but you should try to make it work peacefully.

    My wife's mom is loco, either Borderline (BPD) or slightly Schizo. When my wife and I were just dating, I had to step between them when the fighting broke out, I've made multiple calls to the police on her, she informed us that she made a mistake not having an abortion when she was pregnant with my wife, etc etc. This is just what I've seen, there's been much worse my wife's told me she went through growing up with this woman. I'm completely amazed that my wife still puts forward the effort to reach out to her mom, but she does that cause she still loves her. It doesn't benefit my wife at all, really, even brings her more frustration, but she just does it.

    People are unpredictable and it's nice to hope they'll change, but it's important to be realistic and not waste your life and opportunities trying to fix her. The best you can do is force yourself not to turn your back on her completely.

    As for the lost money, I'd guess the odds are pretty slim that you'll get it back, so do the right thing, tell your grandparents, and find another way to pay for education. Your grandparents may feel like fools over it, your mom may have a psychotic episode or hissy fit, and you may feel like a poop-stirrer, but justice is "the right thing", and internal family justice is just as important as legal justice. Tell them you'll find another way to pay for it, but they should know not to give her anything that's intended for you, because you haven't seen anything they've given her for you.
    Or, you could shrug and move on, let things come to light on their own. But in a way, that's kinda like hiding it from them.

    In any event, I wish you luck, and feel free to email or PM me if you want to chat.
     
  17. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    Did you read the part where she said she tried to kill him? Turning the other cheek only goes so far. Generally I'm a big proponent of trying to keep family ties strong but sometimes you have to do what is best for you and let those that are completely ****ed up go their own way.
     
  18. 68MUDSTUD

    68MUDSTUD OCD with shiny things

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    right on guys, i think i will call my grandparents, since i cant talk to them face to face, because they live about 7 hours away. id like to talk to them face to face, but you know. cant really afford it. as for still loving my mom after what she said? and what she did? i dont know.

    My dad is behind me all the way, ive been living at his house here in the country for four years (All high school). and he knows whats goin on. he said i should tell my grandparents somehow too.

    the reason its gonna be so tough to tell them about this is because theyve never understood why ive been so "Cold" towards my "mother". and yes, they are her parents. not dads. and no, the money is not really a big factor in this to me, its just the principal of my mom stealing it from me and then lieing about it.
     
  19. justhorsinaround

    justhorsinaround 3/4 ton status

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    There ya go. Be calm and straightforward. Don't get all huffy and self-righteous n stuff like that. That's it I spose.
     

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