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Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by uao85, Oct 24, 2006.

  1. uao85

    uao85 1/2 ton status

    Jan 2, 2004
    Likes Received:
    Edge of insanity
    Hey guys I had to write a poem for my lit class and wondered what you guys thought. We had to write a personal response to a poem of our likeing and I chose Wilfred Owen's Dulce et Decorum Est. Oh yeah and you can tell me if it sucks or not, its my first one and I just finished it. Dang Iza feelin all artsee and whatnot(voice of slingblade). Enjoy.

    Dulce et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori
    Too far gone are my ambitions of a glorious fate,
    Wish upon wish of chapters in my story,
    No way through THAT impenetrable gate.

    Oh to hear such a glorious whistle in my ear
    Duck? Crouch? Crawl? Pray?
    To reach for a pistol, and discern my heart to bare.
    I could, did, and always will have command of that day.

    Ready to live, breath, bleed….a-last cut short.
    My hip touched, what cruel fate is this?
    Certainly comical to some, I sarcastically resort.
    They are quickly aware of the contempt I confessed.

    Bright dawn arose, gleaming across my cloudy eye.
    Awoke me from a dream of dreams, contempt no more was seen.
    Caught me, with my back turned, what a fool am I.
    I now can see the forest and the trees, are of the richest green.

    Could I? Should I? Would I now go?
    Tainted with ether, bound and gagged, still glorious?
    Drilling teeth for one I would be as willing,
    Than to uproot myself so hastily
    Chewing glass, the very thought would be uproarious……
    Once upon a time I would pay arm and leg to do it for free.

    **PS the first line translates as:It is sweet and fitting to die for ones country.

  2. BurbLover

    BurbLover 1/2 ton status

    Jul 31, 2001
    Likes Received:
    SW Missouri
    I would say not bad. I've alwasy loved poetry and use to write quite a bit. When writing, rememberthat it i snot required to rhyme. The main idea is for the words to give the reader a mental picture of what you are getting at. For fun, I used to write one haiku a day until it seemd like work. Then I quit. Maybe I should start it up again.

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