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When God made truck drivers

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Mad-Dog, Aug 3, 2005.

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  1. Mad-Dog

    Mad-Dog 1/2 ton status

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    "When God Made Truck Drivers"

    When the Lord was creating Truck Drivers, he was into his sixth day of
    overtime when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling
    around on this one.

    And the Lord said, "Have you read the spec on this order?"
    A truck driver has to be able to drive 10-12 or more hours per day, through
    any type of weather, on any type of road, know the highway traffic laws of
    48 states and 10 provinces, he has to be ready and able to unload 40,000 lbs
    of cargo after driving thru the night, sleep in areas of cities and towns
    that the police refuse to patrol."

    "He has to be able to live in his truck 24 hours a day 7 days a week for
    weeks on end, offer first aid and motorist assistance to his fellow
    travelers, meet just in time schedules, and still maintain an even and
    controlled composure when all around him appear to have gone mad."

    "He has to be in top physical condition at all times, running on black
    coffee and half-eaten meals; he has to have six pairs of hands."
    The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands... no way."

    It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord, "it's the
    three pairs of eyes a driver has to have."
    "That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.
    The Lord nodded.
    "One pair that sees the herd of deer in the thickets 3 miles away"
    "Another pair here in the side of his head for the blind spots that
    motorists love to hide in; and another pair of eyes here in front that can
    look reassuringly at the bleeding victim of a drunk driver that crashed into
    his ICC bumper at 70MPH and say, 'You'll be all right ma'am,' when he knows
    it isn't so."

    "Lord," said the angel, touching his sleeve, "rest and work on this
    tomorrow."

    "I can't," said the Lord, "I already have a model that can drive 650 miles a
    day, without incident and can raise a family of five without ever seeing
    them, on 30 cents a mile."

    The angel circled the model of the truck driver very slowly, "Can it think?"
    ,she asked.

    "You bet," said the Lord. "It can tell you the elements of every HAZMAT load
    invented; recite Federal Motor Carrier Regulations rules and regs in its
    sleep; deliver, pickup, be a father, offer timely advice to strangers,
    search for missing children, defend a woman's or children's rights, get 8
    hours of good rest on the street and raise a family of Law respecting
    citizens, without ever going home ... and still it keeps its sense of humor.

    "This driver also has phenomenal personal control.
    He can deal with delivery and pickup areas created from scenes painted in
    hell, coax a lumper to actually work for his money, comfort an accident
    victim's family, and then read in the daily paper how truck drivers are
    nothing more than killers on wheels and have no respect for the rights of
    others while using the nations highways, which are mostly paid for by truck
    taxes.

    Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the
    driver.
    "There's a leak," she pronounced.
    "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model."
    "That's not a leak," said the lord, "it's a tear."
    "What's the tear for?" asked the angel.
    "It's for bottled-up emotions, for fallen comrades, for commitment to that
    funny piece of cloth called the flag, for justice, for the family without
    its father."
    "You're a genius," said the angel.

    The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there."
    Amen

    Author Unknown
    --
    Reposted courtesy of
    Mad-Dog
     
  2. wasted wages

    wasted wages 3/4 ton status

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    Now I'll feel all warm and fuzzy when some cranked up trucker is 6 inches off my bumper at 85 MPH on I-10,,,,
     
  3. divorced

    divorced 3/4 ton status

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    That's so a$$holes don't come flying from 3 lanes over and almost clip his front bumper while they attempt to get to an exit ramp. So many morons think truck drivers are just "place holders" to let them cut in line... :rolleyes:

    One of my favorites is when there are signs for 3 miles stating "left lane closed xxx miles ahead" and these morons come flying up that left lane and expect me to let them in at the last moment, and then they flip me the bird as if I've done something wrong by not letting them cut in line! Funny... I don't let them screw me - and that makes me the bad guy? I wonder where they work? If I knew I would go screw with them as they screw with me while I'm trying to do my job.
     
  4. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    AMEN.people expect trucks to just let them in.if you cut off something that weighs 80,000 lbs you deserve to die. PERIOD.
     
  5. sled_dog

    sled_dog 1 ton status

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    I give way and help truckers as much as I can. The 2 things that piss me off the most on PA highways, are people who cut off truckers, and people who stay in front of a trucker coming up on a hill. I get the hell out of the way when we are coming up on a hill, I know what its like with a pickup and a trailer in this state, I can't imagine shifting gears and hauling a semi trailer up those hills.

    THe ratio of truckers that are assholes is way better then that of normal drivers. I'd say, 1 in 30 truckers is a dick, where as say 15 out of 30 normal drivers are dicks or idiots.
     
  6. 89GMCSuburban

    89GMCSuburban 1/2 ton status

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    Except when truckers do this... I was moving up here, coming into Denver on I70 from the east, and there's a traffic jam. As the cars next to me are merging, this asshole in a big tan Kenworth with a trailer is jamming the gas (I can tell 'cause he's POURING smoke) catching up to this small cavalier on the entrance ramp. I swear, he's no more than 3 feet behind this car. He's trying to gun it to get as far up as possible and then merge. Just like you say, screw him. As I'm in position just behind his tandems on the driver's side, he looks in the mirror, and I can see him see me, and he starts pulling over. I lay on my horn and the no-english speaking asshole keeps moving over while waving his arms in the air. My mother, who is behind me, hits her horn as well, not like he can't hear. But he keeps coming. I push the cars next to me over trying not to get run over by this prick. As he pushes more over the same way, I get up next to him to get some names and things off the truck, 'cause this bastard is driving recklessly. He has his 4 or 5 year old kid in the passenger seat with no seatbelt on and is yelling curse words in Spanish at ME!! Jackass, I showed him he's number one and took my exit. Guy better hope he doesn't break down and show up at my shop...

    Other than that, I always let people and truckers (Who aren't driving like assholes) merge. It's just courtesy, and it's not gonna make me late.
    P.S. : It's getting harder and harder to find truckers that speak decent english and know how to drive. I don't know how many guys come in for a problem and it's just because they don't know how to drive the truck.
     
  7. big_truxx

    big_truxx 1/2 ton status

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    god bless and long live truckers :saweet: :saweet:

    i have diesel in my veins too ;)
     
  8. big_truxx

    big_truxx 1/2 ton status

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    just think of all the morons in 4-wheelers (read cars, trucks, suvs) that are worse that you never think about nor whine about... i see them every day. there are moms who need to be shot and not procreate that pull out directly in front of a freighted truck and the driver about has a heartattack containing his rig so he doesnt kill the 3 children she has in her back seat that she does not apparently love as she puts their lives in danger.... there are the idiots that run red lights and give YOU a dirty look as they almost hit you. the people who fly by you when you are going 10 over then are going 10 under when you catch up to them a couple miles later.... people that do the exact same thing you describe but in their soccer mom car... so dont go off on trucks... i have been on the road a long time and 90% of reards are in little vehicles ;)
     
  9. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    you are right. when you lose momentum it sucks.i know those drivers are real happy you moved.if i see a truck merging on at a slow pace and he's black stacking,i know he;s having a hard time getting going so i will jump in that lane to block other cars.so he can keep getting up to speed.if it wasn't for trucks we would have nothing on the store shelves.and for all the yahoo's that think they are to big, think about how many cubevans it would take to deliver the same amount of product.for every semi there would be 12 cube vans. WAAAYYY more cars on the road jacking up traffic.
     
  10. big_truxx

    big_truxx 1/2 ton status

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    originally the interstae system was designed for trucks. as to get them off the cars roads... then the cars decided hey lets go on the trucks roads and eventually parts of the interstaes has been shut off to truck traffic. irony at its best there for you...
     
  11. fordeater

    fordeater 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    its funny how truck drivers act all innocent. There are almost as many jack ass truck drivers as there are dumb ass car drivers.
     
  12. big_truxx

    big_truxx 1/2 ton status

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    spoken like a true dumb *** 4-wheeler driver ;) and tomake a point, most people who drive cars do not drive nearly as much as truck drivers therefore have not nearly the amount of actually being on the road seeing all what goes on. kinda like someone trying to think they are an expert builder by watching extreme make over home edition... :screwy:
     
  13. big_truxx

    big_truxx 1/2 ton status

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    but to make an even simpler point and one no one can argue with (unless they truly are retarded) is that it is not the vehicle you drive it is you that makes your driving suck! ;)
     
  14. fordeater

    fordeater 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    alright, say what you want about me, i drive a truck, i see it too. I made a simple point that there are alot of truck drivers who don't care and have the mentality that they are bigger and can do what they want. I'm not sticking up for idiot drivers by any means.
     
  15. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

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    There are poor drivers in ALL kinds of vehicles everywhere.

    HOWEVER, the difference between a guy in a Civic and a trucker hauling a fully loaded 48' flatdeck is that the trucker is a professional driver. He should and WILL be held to a higher standard of conduct on the road, whether he likes it or not. Chances are a bonehead move by a Civic will make you curse, while a bonehead move by a trucker can kill. That's the point that matters.

    This thread is going nowhere. Time to lock it up........
     
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