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Where are the parents??? major rant!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by MudNurI, Aug 4, 2002.

  1. MudNurI

    MudNurI 1/2 ton status

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    Took on a new job a few weeks ago, as Assistant Recreation Director at our towns Recreation Center, (pool, Bball, baseball, playground etc..)...... it has gone down hill for the last 3 years, lack of direction from management etc.. which was the reason I took the job, so I can take my kids to play and feel safe about it....

    2nd day on the job, I'm upstairs in the grandstand area, and 1 of the staff members comes in and says, some kids are in the woods with guns.... WHAT??? @#$)(*#@$)@#$ so we call the local PD, they come up, sure enough 3 kids in the woods with Pellet guns- they shot 1 other kid, 3 times in the leg...Make a long story short, we issue Notes of Tresspass against the 3 kids, 365 days they can not legally be on the property. These kids really NEED to be at the playground, since the mom and dad could care less what the kids are doing, they range in age from 8-12, 3 brothers...things start looking up as the other kids get the hint that we are not taking any crap anymore, it's house cleaning time etc..

    We close the Skateboard park, kid refusing to wear helmets, being on town property, we are liable if someone gets hurt, and the SelectBoard said, "no helmets, no park"...so we enforce the rule. Kids say, NO way to helmets, we shut down the park. Lock the gate, put wire across the park, so you can't skate even if you jump the fence...Post a meeting for 10 days later, in 3 local papers, signs everywhere, come to the meeting, and we can discuss the park, and why it's closed and what the kids can do to get it back open etc...sounds great, NOBODY shows up.. not 1 kid not 1 parent...but the parents spent a lot of time bitching to me about it in those 10 days. See, if the park is closed, these kids are at home bugging mom during the day...but they don't care enough to come to the meeting. So it sits still closed...and will stay that way till next year.

    1 kid received a note of tresspass prior to me starting, and I wanted to try to get him back in the Rec, the kid was at the wrong place at the wrong time, defending himself, and he got in trouble. Another troubled kid ...I call the mom, tell her to bring him, and meet me at the Rec so we can have a meeting. I give the kid 25 hours of "playground work" to be done with me or another staff member supervising,,,he makes it 3 days- 2 hours a day, and starts to blow me off, refuses to come when he's suppose to etc... so I call the mom, this started on Tuesday- I have called her EVERY day, morning and night, since Tuesday and she hasn't called me back yet.....so this kid figures, my mom doesnt' care, I don't care etc... WTF is wrong with parents ?????

    Last night I'm heading out of the house, phone rings, staff member "Brandy, we have some kids in the woods with guns, but I can't tell if they are real or plastic,,,,I don't want to go up and check"...okay, well call the Cops, and I'll be right down. come to find out, they were plastic guns, but cop was pissed at the kids, since we just had a REAL gun incident 3 weeks ago........tells the dad- it's really not a cool idea to be playing "cops and robbers" in the woods at the playground, explains what had happened before etc... father's reply to the cop

    "Wasn't my kids with a pellet gun I don't really care"

    WTF??????? Monday I will deal with these 3 kids.

    Sitting at 99 Steakhouse last night, cell phone rings, staff member, the kid that refused to show up to work with me, is now refusing to leave the rec....WTF.... tell staff member, you close in 10 minutes, just let it be, and I'll deal with it Monday.... Call the mom last night, mom tells me "I wish I could help you but he won't listen to me"..... so WTF am I to do about it, if the mom is done trying???????

    I get so pissed at these parents who don't really care what the kids are doing as long as the cops are not knocking on the door. The language that comes out of some of these kids would make a sailor blush.

    I have to keep remembering that it didn't get this bad overnight, and it's going to take awhile to get it back, like it was when I was a kid, good thing is I remember how it use to be, and hopefully with some actual direction, it can get back that way...

    okay done ranting...

    Brandy
     
  2. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Send the kids to a juvenile boot camp. /forums/images/icons/shocked.gif
     
  3. Skigirl

    Skigirl 1/2 ton status

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    Or start a juvey boot camp at the rec center /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
     
  4. ChevyCaGal

    ChevyCaGal 3/4 ton status

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    Set up a form, contract of sorts, both for the parents and for the kids... they both sign it with basic rules and basic common sense. They live up to these rules. They break it once, warning, small punishment, call home and maybe cleaning something there.... second warning, call home, meeting with parents and child does cleaning or something to help and is suspended from coming for 1-5 days depending on what they did. Third time... see ya! Buh bye you are outta there. Maybe in 6 months if the kid and they're parents can meet with you and talk about what was done, how they fixed this and what in the future to prevent it they can come back on probation, but be gone first time if they blows it again. Reason I even say this much is kids do dumb crap... and yeah if you blow it you should be punished but we all as kids know sometimes it took a few months to get you act together... anyhow good luck!
     
  5. MudNurI

    MudNurI 1/2 ton status

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    The biggest problem, is that the parents don't care, and wouldn't attend any meetings etc....

    we have a policy in effect- 1st time you get tossed, 2 hours of playground work, 2nd time, 10 hours, 3rd time bye bye...after EACH time, you have to meet with me, the parents, and the kids, for the rest of the summer, they are on probation, ANY thing they do wrong from that time out, GONE...

    I'm going to have to work my a** off this winter, getting parents involved... going to send out surveys etc..with all the schools that sort of thing...

    trying to get the 3-7 year olds to be my biggest age group- hoping that the majority of the kids will be between those ages...those are the ages where parents still care, and I hope if I hook them young, they will be respectable when they get 12-15!!!

    Brandy
     
  6. Polaris

    Polaris 1/2 ton status

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    You go girl! You are fighting a good fight there. It sounds discouraging right now but you might just be planting a seed for some of these kids, even if you can't see the fruits of your efforts yet. I was just watching the local news and a lady was on who is up for some award. She had a very familiar name and it took a minute but I remembered. She and her husband had volunteered with Big Brothers/Big Sisters about 20 years ago and she had been my "Big Sister" for a short time. I'm not sure she knew it at the time but I still thought about those special times we had all along. I just looked her up and sent her an e-mail to make sure and tell her that she really did make a difference in my life. So keep on doing what you are doing. Even if you just help one kid to be more responsible or care a little bit more, you have done something very good!
     
  7. Donna

    Donna 1/2 ton status

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    Sounds like you will have a big fight on your hands. I wish I was closer to help you out. Believe me...I feel your pain. Been there ...done that. I have worked in day care/preschool most of my working years, and I know first hand what you are going through. It isn't always a piece of cake much less a walk in the park. But in the end, it is well worth it. When you can see that you are able to make a difference in the life of some of these kids it will make you feel so much better. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you.
     
  8. ChevyHuny

    ChevyHuny 1/2 ton status

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    You better be getting paid good for that job you poor thing! I dont understand the parent thing either. "I dont know what to do he wont listen to me" The way I was broght up is If I didnt listen to my mom she would just scream louder and then Id feel it on my butt. LOL! You shouldnt have to act as parents to these kids. If you do then dammit you need a raise and a vacation every 3 weeks and thats that /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
     
  9. ChevyCaGal

    ChevyCaGal 3/4 ton status

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    Yeah I face non caring parents a lot... they always care when their kid is about to be booted out but prior to that they are like whatever off in la la land. I'm lucky I have a group of bosses who support me and know how parents are. When I have to say you blew it now see ya they back me when the parents whine and complain... if they didn't support me my job would suck. Dealing with parents is worse then any kid. Kids are kids and do dumb stuff because they don't get it... parents should know better and they behave worse then anything... so I feel your pain.....
     

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