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Why can't I just go to work & be happy? (long)

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by MTMike, Aug 12, 2005.

  1. MTMike

    MTMike 1/2 ton status

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    I have a great job. It pays very well for the area, the benefits are excellent, the fringe benefits are even better, I work with awesome people, it's close to home so I can ride my bike most days (weather depending), I enjoy what I do, etc etc.

    But I'm not happy. It's still a JOB. I've never been happy at any job, I just hate this one less than any other I've had.

    Because of this, 4 years ago I started a business with the hopes of becoming self employed some day. It's the only thing I ever wanted to do and the only way I saw myself being happy and successful at the same time. The business has shown awesome success this year, to the point where I talked to my boss about going part time becuase I couldn't keep up with the business and continue to work full time. He seemed hesitant but supportive of the idea, so I went to part-time hours at my current position, knowing that I'd have to change positions soon to continue at part time hours, becuase my position is budgeted as a full-time slot. Things were going great with me part time, I actually had time to meet with clients, work on their stuff and still had a vew hours to spend with my wife, and even some me time! It was a blessing!

    So I applied for a supposedly part-time position within the company, and long-story short I didn't get it because they decided to budget it as a full-time and couldn't justify loosing the funds from corporate to make it a part-time. So I was left with a choice. Come crawling back to full time, to keep my "guaranteed" income and health insurance, or quit and either find a new job or try to make it on the business alone (which isn't bringing in quite enough $ for that yet). So with a 2 mortgages, 3 car payments, and a cancer-surviving college-student wife I kissed-ass all back to full-time status in my current position, all while being told how I didn't do myself any favors in the company, blah blah blah.

    So now I'll be back to not having enough time for the business again, working til 1am & 2am on the business to turn around and get up at 7am and go to work for 8 hours, spending all weekend working on the business - bascially working 18 hrs a day, 7 days a week. I don't want to turn away business because I know it's the only way I'll be happy, but at the same time, there's no way I can quit and go at it full time... at least with any financial security.

    I know what I need to do to be happy, I know how to get there, and hell, the bridge across the canyon to get there is right in front of me... I just can't cross right now because my "backpack" is too heavy for me to make it across the bridge safely.

    So I raise the question again... why can't I just go to work and be happy? Why is it necessary for me to be self employed to be happy? Why is just and hourly wage not enough for me? Why can't I just get my arse out of bed each morning, put in my 8 and be thankful that I'm even able to work?

    Thanks for listening....
     
  2. dontoe

    dontoe 3/4 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Because you're ambitious, some of us aren't. :bow:
     
  3. Leper

    Leper 1/2 ton status

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    2 mortages and 3 car payments.....
    I see where you can drop some expenses to make your part time gig better.
    Unless you have a rental income property I see no need in 2 mortages, unless you are in the situation I am in (providing a house for the inlaws).
    A reduction in expenses is the same, if not better, than an income increase.
    My 4 member immediate family have a total of 6 cars. Combined car payment....$192.00(wifes 00 blazer) My 18 yo son and 16 yo daughter drive $3000.00 cash cars. Son has a 79 Blazer, daughter 95 Jeep Grand Cherokee. With the exception of my wifes Blazer we all run with liability insurance, and drive carefully. Saves a few hundred a month in insurance premiums. I sometimes hate my job also, but shoving off some un-needed expenses gives me less reason to dwell on my financial future, thus making my job seem not so bad. Even at 68 hrs a week.
    My .02
     
  4. MTMike

    MTMike 1/2 ton status

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    Yes... I'm trying to convince my wife to sell the camaro, but she knows I'll regret it later - but that doesnt help us now

    The mortgages are realy our main mortgage and a home equity line that we took out on the house to pay for all the improvements that were necessary to make it a comfortable home (like carpet that wasn't 30 years old, etc)

    I agree completely that one major way to help would be to cut some things out.
     
  5. diesel4me

    diesel4me 1 ton status Premium Member

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    I hear ya...

    I never liked working for anyone else..no matter how "good" the job was,or the people I worked for,I felt imprisoned in a store 8 hours a day..I hated answering phone calls,and having to do ten things at once,and getting reamed out for screwing half of them up due to being overworked..plus all the usual boss/employee conflicts that arise on what seemed a daily basis..

    I grew tired of working 53 hours a week,and having to work saturdays,while my friends ridiculed me when they would plan a weekend getaway,and I could not go because I had to work until 12 noon or 3pm on saturdays..I never was paid what I felt I deserved,and learned many others "under" me,some of which I had to 'train",actually were paid more as a starting salary than I was getting after working there for 4 years!.. :mad:

    After 2 of my best friends died in 1994,I had a big battle with my boss about taking time off to attend one of the funerals..they told me since he wasn't a family member,that I was not entitled to take any time off..I'd already taken 2 days off to drive aimlessly around the countryside,pondering why we even work at all!--my mind was in a state of shock,I'd have been useless had I gone to work anyway--they told me if I wanted to take the time off,to go ahead--BUT dont expect your job to be here waiting for you when you return!--so I told them to kiss this,and that I'd NOT be back! :mad:

    I started a lawnmower/small engine repair bussiness in the quonset garage I'd built at my parents house where I live--things went great for about 2 years--had enough customers to stay busy,didn't make TONS of money,but I often made more than I did working a real job--and if I didn't feel like working that day,or had to take my parents shopping,or to a doctor,it was no big deal!--I LOVED being my own boss..for the first time in my life,I was actually looking forward to waking up in the morning,and no longer felt angry and depressed! :laugh: things were doing great!..

    Then,my friend who gave me lots of business,who had cancer,died--and along with him went a lot of the work I'd gotten!..Lowe's ,Home Depot,and Wal-Mart all moved into my area--soon I was being flooded with junk mowers people threw away in favor of cheap brand new ones bought at theese stores,and I'd spend 25-30 bucks to fix them--then could not get what I put into them when I tried to sell them!-- :doah:

    Then I got a visit from the town selectman,who informed my I could not run my bussiness in a residential area,despite me telling him it was a "hobby",not a business!--he told me to "cease and desist",or I'd get in deep trouble!--so that led me to get rid of all the mowers,parts,and the mess I made in the yard..even the "big" lawnmower shop I bought parts at went bankrupt and out of bussiness! :doah:

    My father was very ill with parkinsons disease,and he died in april of 2000--my mom got very ill with emphasema just before he died--then she sold off the extra house lot my dad wanted me or my siblings to have,and blew all the money on my younger brother,lottery tickets,and other foolishness..Now,I am nearly broke,but I still am doing my best to survive without getting a "real' job..

    I despised being chained to a parts counter 53 hours a week,fighting with anal bosses,and brown nosing co-workers..I dont think I could find a place I'd be HAPPY to go to work to in the retail world..but I'm going to have to do something pretty quick,my mom wont live forever(so far she's doing fairly well,but at age 77 with emphasema,anyday it can change fast!)...But I have been praying to God I wont have to go back to work for people like I've worked for in the past...I have NO desire to give up 40+ hours of my life every week I could be enjoying,rather than miserable,hating every minite of it..

    I feel being happy is much more important than being wealthy--and having time for your family and yourself is priceless!..I may not have had a lot of money the past 10 years,but I went a lot of places,saw a lot of things,and did a lot of things I never could have done had I been working a "normal" job...I'm GLAD I quit,and could care less if people label me "a bum" or "lazy",just because I dont follow the herd of sheeple!...

    I'm gonna ENJOY some of my life NOW,screw waiting until your 65,and too frail to do anything!--I watched my dad suffer in bed the last 10 years of his life,he never got to enjoy his retirement--he had to retire early,and was so sick he could hardly get out of bed...I'm having MY fun NOW!!!....

    I say go for yur own business,sell some stuff if you have too...dont be unhappy ,its not good for you!..I know sometimes you have to "grin and bear it",but if you do it TOO long,you'll end up with ulcers..Good luck!.. :crazy:
     
  6. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    I hear ya. I hate working for someone else more and more, and I have a great job. I just think I'd really prefer working for myself.

    I would say your goal should determine your current expenses, and in turn, your current or future work status.
    If you want to enjoy the money now in the form of a newer car, etc, you'll have to keep working a lot to make the payments.
    If you want to enjoy it later, or the self-employment is the higher priority, then ditch the cars and build up that cash into a fund so you have a bigger cushion under you so you can ditch the job and focus on the business.
     
  7. unclematty

    unclematty 1/2 ton status

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    I read this thread...

    and thought, that sounds just like me!
    I figured out that I'll never be happy till I work for me and no one else, and I always tell myself the old saying about being on your deathbed and not wishing for more time at work , but wishing for more time with my family.

    Last week I told my supervisor that I needed the 18th through the 20th of Aug off to go on vacation, He immediatly so no way! so I explained that I have'nt spent any time with my family and that this little 10.00 an hour job is doing nothing but keeping me busy after school everyday, so if he wanted me to stay, he should give me the time off, or I'd quit outright on the spot! Well I still work there( assumng I don't beat any more of my coworkers down anymore), so you know what happened. Flaming gorge next weekend!!! :saweet: :saweet: A bad day fishing, is always better then a good day at work! F#@k work!!! :mad:
     

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