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WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Muddytazz, Jan 21, 2004.

  1. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    Location:
    Salem, Or.
    Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the
    thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
    After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first
    thing he said was "DON'T!"
    "Don't what?" Adam replied.
    "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
    "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have forbidden
    fruit!!!!!"
    "No Way!"
    "Yes way!"
    "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
    "Why"
    "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He
    hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God
    saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
    "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
    "Uh huh," Adam replied.
    "Then why did you?" said the Father.
    "I don't know," said Eve.
    "She started it!" Adam said
    "Did not!"
    "Did too!"
    "DID NOT!"
    Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
    should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never
    changed.
    BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
    If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and
    they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble
    raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
    THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
    1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
    talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
    2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
    3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
    4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word
    what you shouldn't have said.
    5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that
    there are children more awful than your own.
    6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
    ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing
    home.
    AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT
    SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

    "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN".
     
  2. thefarside

    thefarside 1/2 ton status

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    I thought for sure it was going to be for tax reasons. /forums/images/graemlins/thinking.gif
     
  3. bigburban383

    bigburban383 1/2 ton status

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    Michigan, Royal Oak
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     

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