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Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by colbystephens, Dec 4, 2006.

  1. colbystephens

    colbystephens 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    i just realized that tomorrow (dec 4) is the 6th anniversary of my mom's death. pretty wierd feeling. i can't believe it's been that long - it sure doesn't feel that way. it's not hard on me, as i've dealt with it, but it's a wierd feeling.

    it was wierd when i graduated HS, moved out on my own, got married, etc for me to not have her be there for those things - particularly strange for getting married. we gave her an empty seat at my wedding tho, and claire put one of her boquet flowers on it when she walked down the isle.

    dec. 4, 2000.
    i was working at this goofy little french restaraunt in phoenix/scottsdale/paradise valley called la madeleine on tatum/shea. it was 10:30 and i called home to have my mom come pick me up from work (i was 15 then). my dad answered, which was out of the norm and said he'd come pick me up - which was really odd. i just figured my mom was tired or something. anyway, it took dad a super long time to get there and when he finally did i jumped in his car and he told me we had to pray.

    he prayed that god would have me understand what he was about to tell me in an appropriate way - iirc. then he told me that my mom had what appeared to be a heart attack and that we had to go to the hospital ER. i panicked - i remember thrashing around in the seat looking for something to hold onto, but not really - there were handles everywhere, but ofcourse none of them offered the security i needed. he grabbed me and after i caught my breath we were off to the hospital at 92nd and shea.

    we hit every freaking red light on the way there - and there's a lot.

    got there, waited in a little family's room for an hour and the doc came in and said she had died. i lost it again.

    i went to see her body. that was the strangest experience of my life. we went to the room, and they pulled back the curtain. my dad cried out, "my girlfriend!" and ran to his wife sobbing. i collapsed on the tile floor. words can't explain how wierd that feeling was.

    we went home and called some people - it was about 1a.m.

    she was fine that day. her parents had come up from tucson to visit her. they went out, had fun and ate some mexican food. i guess my mom complained of heart-burn right before she died, so she took some antacid or something. then a couple minutes later i understand she came running out into the hall yelling, "jim, i think i'm having a heart attack!" then she fell down, her face turned black and she died immediately. we lived about 2 minute drive from the hospital and she was dead by the time the paramedics got there.

    the autopsy came back and said she didn't die of a heart attack. she didn't die of anything. she just stopped living.

    it was a wierd time in my life because we had moved to AZ 4 months earlier and i didn't have any real friends yet. no family was in the area, and ofcourse my dad couldn't offer much support for me - he had just lost the love of his life.

    so it was just me and jesus. it was one of the most incredible times in my entire life. i grew a TON.

    her funeral was amazing. like i said, we had only been in az for 4 months, but her funeral brought over 300 people! she influenced 300 people in 4 months! amazing.

    she's buried at the cemetary by the hospital there off of shea and 92nd. if anyone in az has a chance, drop some flowers on her grave for me since i can't do it. she's halfway between the driveway and the little pond, and maybe 50 west of the entry/drive off of shea. her name is terri lockwood. it's a flat headstone, and black. she likes gerber dasies.

    woah! that turned into a long email fast. :) anyone actually finish reading the whole thing? :D
     
  2. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    Wild story man. Good to hear you got through it strong.
     
  3. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Life is a strange one...
     
  4. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    It's honorbale that you remember her so well

    My father died when I was 12, so I kind of know what you feel like. Every October 4th....
     
  5. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

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    ramblings of another motherless CK5'er.

    Colby

    Very classy way to remember mom at your wedding.

    since my mom had been gone for 10 years when I got married, dad had to fill in with the unity candle lighting..I had dealt with moms passing a long time ago, but what made the hurt fresh again on my wedding day was the fact that my favorite grandma ( moms mom ) died a month before my wedding date.. I still have her unmailed invitation.. :( she was the last surviving grandparent on either side of the family, and I could talk to her about life like I talk with you guys..

    Thankfully, my family knows how to have fun at weddings, so we, as always, overcame the grief.

    I feel for ya, colby.. my mom died after fighting lung cancer, so I had a few months to say what needed saying, and we were all there at her deathbed.. I can't imagine what it felt like to have everything come out of nowhere like that.

    if I draw anything positive from my moms death, it would be that I learned that death can come at any time, so I made the changes that needed making, and I learned that the only real security we have in this world is Gods promise of eternal life through the blood of his son.. everything else can change in a heartbeat.

    as another positive, I since my relationship with mom wasn't always the greatest, ( it sucked actually) I determined that I would make my relationship with my dad a good one.. each of my siblings left home in a hail of "f - you's" and flying gravel, and I was headed down thatb same road, so I stuck around and fixed things between us, and helped mend stuff betweeen him and the other kids. ( I'm the only one everbody talks to).

    So, Colby, I applaud the fact that tragedy didn't shatter you.. not everyone is that strong.

    Tom
     
  6. pauly383

    pauly383 Daddy383 Staff Member Moderator

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    Colby , we cried a whole hell of a lot , but it is done . The wife and I said a few words and left yellow Gerbera Daisy for her . Don't owe me a damn thing . I like to help if I can . Its my way of giving back to the good people who have helped me .

    If her middle name is Veda , I found it .
     
  7. colbystephens

    colbystephens 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    that would be her! BIG thanks to you and your wife. :D
     
  8. nc87k5

    nc87k5 3/4 ton status

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    dude, you are so unbelieveable!

    Colby, sorry to hear about your mom leaving like that. sounds like she helped raise a good person.
     
  9. colbystephens

    colbystephens 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    thanks. :)
     
  10. onlychevy6

    onlychevy6 1/2 ton status

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    Pauly that was an amazing thing you and your wide did for colby.

    Colby, from the little bit that we have spoken. I must say you are an awesome guy. And after reading that whole thing it actually brought a tear to my eyes. For many reason of my own. Stay strong. And more importantly if your father is still around i hope you still have a good relationship with him. Also i hope all is well with your sister. Not sure if the info was correct.(You know what i mean)

    Jeff
     
  11. colbystephens

    colbystephens 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    you want to hear my sister's crazy story?

    ok, so i told you she was a model in NY, well she and a friend decide its time to take a trip to Hawaii. So they go over there, rent a condo and run out of money. So the police have to evict her. She goes to a hotel with the remaining funds she has. Well, she runs out of the last of her money and they try to kick her out. She won't go. So the police come. She locks her (4 yr. old?) son out on the balcony and proceeds to tell the officers that she's going to blow up the building (she doesn't have any explosives, but she makes the threat.) Then she calls the white house and makes some sort of threat against the government, so the FBI gets involved. Well, they must have broken in and arrested her, because she ended up in jail. They put her son in a foster/group home. Whenever they would take her to court for a hearing, she would do something stupid like tell the judge to F*ck off. So, they put her on sedative drugs. My other sister started the process of adopting Trista's son, but it didn't work out due to some of the innapropriate things that Trista's son had seen/experienced. Then Trista skipped bail and came back to the 48 and was supposedly looking for her son - but she never went to her sister's house. then we heard nothing of her for a long time. finally, at 3a.m. she shows up at her mom's house banging on the windows so her mom calls the cops (we have different mothers). once her mom realizes it's trista, she calls the cops off (what a stupid move!). So i guess trista had all these pock marks on her face, evidence of meth. :( she stayed w/ her mom for a couple weeks, but due tothis, her mom was basically on house arrest, not trusting that trista wouldn't steal everything and take off again. finally, my other sister convinced their mom to get trista to a mental institution. she was there for a while, but now no one has any clue as to where she is.

    now THAT is a wierd story. :)
     
  12. onlychevy6

    onlychevy6 1/2 ton status

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    at least you kinda have an idea as to what she has been up too. May not be the best story for your family. But at least you know. Hopefully she will finally see the light and get some help. Good luck.
     

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