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women / divorce / wtf?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by big_truxx, Dec 20, 2004.

  1. big_truxx

    big_truxx 1/2 ton status

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    i am wondering what it is about some people that make them realize that they have been very wrong and going about things the wrong way entirely only just as they are about to totally be out of your life permanently. I just had a conversation via telephone with my (i thought anyway) soon to be ex this afternoon. and she got #'s and info to call and pay some bills she'd stuck me with then started talking about "things". Aparently she'd talked to one of her friends and she pointed out a lot of things to Kelly (still married to me) that she hadnt seen on her own. And now she has "seen the light" so to speak. so why does it take absolute certainty of her never talking to me again to wake her up? This may be part of the mystery surrounding women that my truck infested head will never know. but she apologized and apologized and actually talked about things instead of avoiding them. :yikes: so now that leaves me :thinking: yes things would be fixable. <sigh> maybe I should have given up trying to figure women out long ago and just stuck w/ trucks. :haha:
     
  2. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    Sounds like a great opportunity to fix things. :thumb:
     
  3. 3 on the tree

    3 on the tree 1/2 ton status

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    I f you do figure out women-write a book and become a millionaire. Us men have been trying to figure out women for a long time, with damn little success.I had an ex-wife tell me once that I didn't try hard enough to get her back! She called the cops on me when I went to her place to talk to her, but I didn't try hard enough to get her back?
     
  4. txfiremank5

    txfiremank5 1/2 ton status

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    Maybe so....

    Or, just maybe... a great opportunity to get it broke off even deeper than the first time..

    "Danger, Will Robinson, Danger.." approach with caution.
     
  5. big_truxx

    big_truxx 1/2 ton status

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    cops eh?

    well maybe she was hopin you'd wrestle the cops once they got there? :haha: i do understand where you are coming from. it seems at times we try as hard as we can to do things and it would apear our efforts go un-noticed. which is how ive felt about kelly till today when she told me she tlaked to a friend and realized a lot of things. maybe there is hope on figuring out women yet. and if i do i will write a book. im good at writing. and will let you all know all about it. but i know that will never happen.
     
  6. beater_k20

    beater_k20 Banned

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    yeah, what he said!

    screw trying to figure out women. let her cool off, and get back to work on those trucks instead of just thinking about them.
     
  7. mofugly13

    mofugly13 1 ton bucket of rust Premium Member

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    Danger, for sure! Approach with caution. My GF will piss me off so bad that I'll throw her out, and a day or two later she comes and tells me how wrong she was and how she can see my side of things. She talks about things just like I wish we could do all along. Makes me think she'll stop pulling the crap she pulls. Then a month later, she's right back at it. People are who they are, It's very hard to get someone to change. But I guess it does happen. Still, approach with caution.
     
  8. big_truxx

    big_truxx 1/2 ton status

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    yeah what he said

    im in agreeance :haha: im already thinkin ahead (as always) what happens when the new wears off AGAIN and it's just us two as we've always been. but one never knows there may be a chance she really has learned what shes done wrong to keep communication form happening. and she's gonna start payin bills too!! :)
     
  9. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

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    In my experience, 95% of "couple problems" are caused by the following 2 things:

    1. Poor communication- Regardless of how pissed off I get at Kim and want to clam up, I have always forced myself to say what's on my mind- I insist she does the same thing when necessary. When one person in a relationship is constantly holding back it is a bad sign. When you truly love someone, there is NOTHING that should be kept from the other(except when she asks if she looks fat in those jeans....... :D ) Rule of thumb- NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY. RESOLVE THE ISSUE AT HAND BEFORE YOU HIT THE SACK

    2. Loss of "self"- Marriage does not mean that you have to leave "your stuff" behind when the ring slips on your finger. Of course, this should have been established before you decided to tie the knot. Both Kim and I have our own things to do that does not involve the other. I like to icefish and she likes to quilt. Neither of us feel a need to explain that we need our own time to pursue our hobbies. Everyone on the face of the earth needs their own space from time to time, married people included.

    My 2 cents, brother. Tread carefully, but realize that from time to time people make mistakes and realize it at the last minute. If you love her the relationship is worth saving.
     
  10. js4x4

    js4x4 1/2 ton status

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    Dang Canmore....very well put my man. I had many friends who went to a marriage counselor. They were on the verge of throwing in the towel. A good counselor doesn't really advise, they are a non-partisan 3rd party-and its more geared to what Canmore said- to communicate. They more direct you communicate in a healthy manner. (a shouting match is one sided-cuz your not listening, just hearing.)

    BTW, all my friends that have gone to a counselor are still married, and are much happier with one another.
     
  11. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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    That's how it is whith my wife and I and it does work very well. She has her time with friends to do whatever they do ( :D :D ) and I dick around on my truck, or go wheeling, or just hang out with my buddy and have a few wobbly pop's.

    When things get tense we yell a bit, get through the frustration, and then have a heart to heart until we're sorted. I also try never to go to bed angry...

    We've been together since '89 and still going strong.

    Rene
     
  12. kennyw

    kennyw N9PHW Premium Member

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    You seem to have ID'd the problem righ there :whistle:
     
  13. big_truxx

    big_truxx 1/2 ton status

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    i agree

    i am the same way. i need to solve things BEFORE they get out of hand. but prior to Kelly leaving alls that would come of anything is her giving up (i.e. ignore me, do something else or go somewhere else to assist in not talking about things) and nothing getting solved. but we did in all honesty actually talk (like we should have from the beginning) on the phone yesterday. kinda shocked the heck outa me. in a good way though.

    as for my stuff and her stuff... obviously im a gm truck freak i almost live on here some days :haha: so thats my thing in life. i was trying to figure out what she was into for a hobbie etc yesterday. and as i have seen from being married to her... nothing. she wants to spend time with me as a similar thing to a hobby. in a way thats cool. id sugest she learn to work on trucks with me. but also i would like her to do something thats for her also. i guess if she would rather spend time with me than on her own for fun I can't be all that upset.
     
  14. big_truxx

    big_truxx 1/2 ton status

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    :waytogo:

    i believe that marrige counseling is a positive step some people dont choose to take in their life. I know if we decide to work things out we definately will be going to marrige counseling.
     
  15. big_truxx

    big_truxx 1/2 ton status

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    :thinking:

    congrats! thats something i was hoping to get to the point of someday. her having her friends to do whatever with and all. i think itd make her happier. but sometimes it seems that she doens want to go out and make her own friends and currently i dont really have any. closest friend is in ohio now (im in maine) and even when we were near each other she didnt aprove of him so i really couldnt hang out with him much less she get upset. but all that can also be contributed to lack of real comunication in my mind anyway.
     
  16. scrappyk5

    scrappyk5 1/2 ton status

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    i am all for trying to fix things . i even tried to fix things myself three time with my ex, but just wouldnt work.

    do yourself a favor though. i dont want to open a can of worms , or make you feel bad , but she says she has found out things from her freind and wants to work things out , but maybe she was seeing someone and they split up , now she wants you back cause she knows she made a mistake .

    just a thought.

    but as everyone else says , be careful !!!
     
  17. big_truxx

    big_truxx 1/2 ton status

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    :haha:

    :haha: :haha: :haha: one never knows does one? it's been a week but who knows what goes on when yer not around
     

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