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Your letter to Santa

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, Dec 10, 2002.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    Your letter
     
  2. 87Blazerlady

    87Blazerlady 1/2 ton status

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    Put that in my favorites. Thanks. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  3. BranndonC

    BranndonC 3/4 ton status

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    Dear Santa,

    I have been a good Boy.

    It really wasn't my fault what happened at Brianne's Christmas party. It was Mika who spiked the punch with too much Pepsi. I can't help it if I drank 16 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Gucci.

    I thought it was funny when I put Emma's Shirt on my head and danced the Swing on the Chair while singing `Oops...I did it again'. I didn't mean to break Brianne's Computer and don't know why Brianne would sue me for stealing.

    I don't remember calling John's wife a Dark Dog---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and red lipstick!

    And when I threw up on Ivete's husband's Penis, it was only because I ate too much of that pizza.

    After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Blazer through my neighbor's front door. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a Big Cat and have me arrested for Kill!

    So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all hideous and dark. And I'm really not to blame for any of this many stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

    Sincerely and smoothly yours,
    Branndon (Really a nice Boy!)

    P.S. It's only 86 bucks!
     
  4. NoAngel

    NoAngel 1/2 ton status

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    Dear Santa,

    I have been a good girl.

    It really wasn't my fault what happened at Chris's Christmas party. It was Cheryl who spiked the punch with too much sex on the beach. I can't help it if I drank 13 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like motor oil.

    I thought it was funny when I put Mike's feather boa on my head and danced the jitterbug on the water bed while singing `Walk Like A Man'. I didn't mean to break Chris's Hand held massager and don't know why Chris would sue me for Prostitution.

    I don't remember calling Michael's wife a soft little piggie---even though she looked like one with chartreuse eye shadow and violet lipstick!

    And when I threw up on Betsy's husband's bellybutton, it was only because I ate too much of that jello.

    After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my tricycle through my neighbor's attic. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a furry gazelle and have me arrested for shoplifting!

    So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all wicked and smelly. And I'm really not to blame for any of this burnt stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

    Sincerely and softly yours,
    Michelle (Really a nice girl!)

    P.S. It's only 1 buck!
     
  5. NoAngel

    NoAngel 1/2 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    And when I threw up on Ivete's husband's Penis

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Damn, that's funny!!
    These are great!
     
  6. BigOrange90Jimmy

    BigOrange90Jimmy 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    Dear Santa,

    I have been a good boy.

    It really wasn't my fault what happened at BJ's Christmas party. It was Jarrod who spiked the punch with too much Crown Royal. I can't help it if I drank 18 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like sex.

    I thought it was funny when I put Stephanie's panties on my head and danced the grind on the futon while singing `She Hates Me'. I didn't mean to break BJ's TV remote and don't know why BJ would sue me for treason.

    I don't remember calling Eric's wife a slippery Goat---even though she looked like one with orange eye shadow and blue lipstick!

    And when I threw up on Elaine's husband's thigh, it was only because I ate too much of that pizza.

    After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Supra through my neighbor's attic. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a warm ocelot and have me arrested for robbery!

    So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all filthy and shaved. And I'm really not to blame for any of this long stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

    Sincerely and pleasurably yours,
    Jim (Really a nice boy!)

    P.S. It's only 21 bucks!
     
  7. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    Good one Paul, heres mine....



    Dear Santa,

    I have been a good boy.

    It really wasn't my fault what happened at phil yourhole's Christmas party. It was dixie normas who spiked the punch with too much thorazine shuffles. I can't help it if I drank 13 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like sh!t house door on a tuna boat.

    I thought it was funny when I put rod hardening's nipple clamps on my head and danced the pole on the blow up doll while singing `lets get it on'. I didn't mean to break phil yourhole's anal intruder and don't know why phil yourhole would sue me for beastyality.

    I don't remember calling Mr. " I can only get it up at a gay pride parade"'s wife a warm and chunky blue ribbon winnin' hog---even though she looked like one with corduroy( Helen Keller's favorite) eye shadow and baby poo yellow lipstick!

    And when I threw up on Ineada porking's husband's purple helmet, it was only because I ate too much of that cottage cheese.

    After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my 69' Oldsmolbuick with 3 in the tree, 4 on the frloor and a fifth under the seat through my neighbor's electrical outlet. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a rancid gerbal and have me arrested for assalt with a dildo!

    So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all hot and fuzzy. And I'm really not to blame for any of this slippery stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

    Sincerely and spankingly yours,
    Jack hoff (Really a nice boy!)

    P.S. It's only 42 bucks!
     
  8. NoAngel

    NoAngel 1/2 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    I drank 13 glasses

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Boy, you and I must've been havin' a good ole time! We both downed 13 drinks! Woohoo!
     
  9. heavy4x4

    heavy4x4 1/2 ton status

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    Your friends have some screwed up names /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
    But you left out the infamous Haywood Jablome /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  10. Donna

    Donna 1/2 ton status

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    Dear Santa,

    I have been a good girl.

    It really wasn't my fault what happened at Fanny's Christmas party. It was Ronda who spiked the punch with too much Mike's hard Lemonade. I can't help it if I drank 16 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like vanilla.

    I thought it was funny when I put Gretchen's shirt on my head and danced the hoola on the table while singing `It's my Life'. I didn't mean to break Fanny's VCR and don't know why Fanny would sue me for auto theft.

    I don't remember calling Scott's wife a hairy horse---even though she looked like one with purple eye shadow and black lipstick!

    And when I threw up on Tammy's husband's arm, it was only because I ate too much of that pizza.

    After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Blazer through my neighbor's roof. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a silly tiger and have me arrested for bank robbery!

    So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all stupid and smelly . And I'm really not to blame for any of this naughty stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

    Sincerely and nicely yours,
    Donna (Really a nice girl!)

    P.S. It's only 7 bucks!

    This is truly hilarious!!!! I couldn't stop laughing!!!!
     
  11. jjlaughner

    jjlaughner 3/4 ton status

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    Heres mine...

    Dear Santa,

    I have been a good boy.

    It really wasn't my fault what happened at eric's Christmas party. It was russ who spiked the punch with too much jack. I can't help it if I drank 22 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like acid.

    I thought it was funny when I put kelly's tshirt on my head and danced the funky chicken on the couch while singing `criminal'. I didn't mean to break eric's computer and don't know why eric would sue me for hacking.

    I don't remember calling eric's wife a fun chicken---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and green lipstick!

    And when I threw up on carly's husband's head, it was only because I ate too much of that pizza.

    After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my blazer through my neighbor's Kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a retarded pigeon and have me arrested for flying!

    So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all tired and crazy. And I'm really not to blame for any of this broke stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

    Sincerely and now yours,
    Jeremiah (Really a nice boy!)

    P.S. It's only 22 bucks!
     

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