Actual bumper stickers found on cars and trucks!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Muddytazz, May 20, 2003.

  1. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

    Jun 30, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Salem, Or.
    Constipated People Don't Give A [naughty word].

    Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.

    If You Drink, Don't Park; Accidents Cause People.

    Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?

    If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth shut.

    Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.

    If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.

    My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

    Thank You For Pot Smoking.

    To All You Virgins, Thanks For Nothing.

    If At First You Don't Succeed ... Blame Someone Else ... And Seek Counseling.

    Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".

    If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

    Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.

    It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.

    If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.

    You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.

    The Earth Is Full --- Go Home.

    I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha.

    This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me.

    So Many Pedestrians --- So Little Time.

    Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.

    If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

    The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.

    Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

    Illiterate? Write For Help.

    Honk If Anything Falls Off.

    Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.

    He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit.

    I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.

    You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

    I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.

    Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Hand Basket?

    It's Been Lovely, But I Have To Scream Now.

    I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere.

    If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off. [Seen On The Back Of A Biker's Vest].
    If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong.

    Fight Crime --- Shoot Back!

    If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over. [Seen upside Down, On A Jeep]

    Remember Folks --- Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.

    Guys --- No Shirt, No Service; Gals --- No Shirt, No Charge.[Reported To Be Seen On A Restaurant]

    If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba the Hut?

    Necrophillia --- That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.

    Ax Me 'bout Ebonics.

    Body By Nautilus --- Brain By Mattel.

    Boldly Going Nowhere.

    Cat --- The Other White Meat.

    Caution --- Driver Legally Blonde!

    Don't Be Sexist --- Broads Hate That.

    Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.

    Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.

    How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?

    If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.

    Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch.

    Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!
  2. dleroy43

    dleroy43 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

    Jul 22, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Martinsburg WV
    Lost your cat? Try looking under my tires

    of all the things I lost, I miss my mind the most
  3. MaxCrack

    MaxCrack 1/2 ton status

    Apr 10, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Mt View, CA
    [ QUOTE ]
    Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

    [/ QUOTE ]
    Now that sounds strangely like me.

    I used to have (until the wife vetoed them ) a license plate frame that said "I like 'em on all Fours"
    And two bumper stickers that said "WARNING Driver no longer gives a [naughty word]!"
    And "This is NOT an abondoned vehicle"
  4. Ryan B.

    Ryan B. 3/4 ton status GMOTM Winner

    Jul 18, 2001
    Likes Received:
    I want to get this one:

    I wonder if you could drive any better with that cell phone shoved up your @$$!

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/k5.gif
  5. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester Premium Member

    Feb 24, 2000
    Likes Received:
    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    [ QUOTE ]
    I wonder if you could drive any better with that cell phone shoved up your @$$!

    [/ QUOTE ] Nope, I tried it, but it does feel funny when recieving a call with the phone set to vibrate... /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    Contemplating fourth Guinness for breakfast.... /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

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