Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, Apr 22, 2002.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

    Mar 30, 2002
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    ADULTERY - The wrong people doing the right thing.
    ALIMONY - The screwing you get for the screwing you got.
    BABY - A hollow tube with a loud voice at one end and a complete lack of responsibility at the other end.

    CHIVALRY - A mans inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.
    CONSCIENCE - That which hurts when everything else feels so good.
    CONSTIPATION - To have and to hold.
    COOKIE - A virgin doughnut.
    DANCE - A Naval engagement without the loss of seamen.
    DIVORCE - What happens when two people cannot stomach each other any longer.
    DECOY - A flashlight in the pants pocket.
    DIARY - Book of revelations.
    DOCTOR - A lucky fellow who is privileged to undress women and go all over them without getting his
    face slapped.
    ENEMA - A goose with a gush.
    EXPLORATION - Beating around the bush.
    FATHER'S DAY - Nine months before labor day.
    GENTLEMAN - One who is always careful to rest at least half his weight on his elbows.
    GIGOLO - The egg that laid the golden Goose.
    GLAMOUR GIRL - a much publicized young thing who is full of oomf, and frequently full of other
    things; one who doesn't worry about the meat shortage.
    HORSE SHOW - A lot of horses showing their asses to a lot of horses' asses showing their horses.
    HUSBAND - What is left after the nerve has been killed.
    KEPT WOMAN - One who wears mink all day and fox all night.
    HUNG CHOW - Chinese constipation.
    A KISS - Upper persuasion for lower invasion; upstairs shopping for downstairs merchandise.
    MASTURBATION - A solo played on a private organ.
    METALLURGIST - A man who can look at a platinum blonde and tell whether she is virgin metal or a
    common ore.
    MINUTE MAN - One who double parks while he visits a sporting house.
    MORNING - The time of day when the rising generation retires, and the retiring generation arises.
    MOTHER'S DAY - Nine months after fathers day.
    MULE BARBECUE - Where everybody gets a piece of ass.
    NUN - A woman who ain't never had none, don't want none, and ain't going to get none.
    NURSE - A pan handler.
    NURSERY - A place to park last years fun until it grows up a bit.
    PAPOOSE - Consolation prize for taking a chance on an Indian blanket.
    PIMP - A crack salesman; a nookie bookie.
    PREGNANCY - When a woman is all swelled up from her mate's handiwork.
    RUMBA - An asset to music.
    SECRETARY - A stenographer who watches her periods.
    SIN - Anything the other fellow enjoys and you don't.
    SISSY - A man who gets out of the bath tub to take a leak.
    SPRING FEVER - When the iron in your blood turns to lead in your pencil.
    STORK - The bird that had none of the fun in bringing the babies.
    TOMCAT - A ball bearing mouse trap.
    TRIPLETS - Taking seriously what was poked at you in fun.
    VISE - Anything you enjoy that is bad for you.
    VIRGINITY - A bubble on the stream of life, one prick and it's gone forever.
    VIRGIN WOOL - Wool from a sheep that can outrun a sheep herder.
  2. pregate

    pregate Registered Member

    Aug 13, 2000
    Likes Received:
    Fort Worth, Texas
    im gonna hafta use about half of those
  3. Burbinator

    Burbinator 1/2 ton status

    Sep 14, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Tempe, Arizona

    I've got to save those...

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