Don't you know Jack Schitt? At last, an answer to this age-old question - "Who is Jack Schitt?" The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says: "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation! Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins - Deep Schitt, and Dip Schitt. After being married 15 years Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her prior name. So after her marriage to Mr. Sherlock, she was known as Noe Schitt Sherlock. Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son named Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The newspaper ran an announcement for the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned home from Italy with his new bride, Piza Schitt. So now if someone says: "You don't know Jack Schitt!", you can correct him. In fact, not only do you know Jack, you know his whole family.