Not to post another tiring email forward, but I got this from my wife's grandmother (to be honest, it's one of the only one's from her I've ever read). I found it ironic, funny, scary... With enough mindless people like my mother-in-law voting, I'm sure it's not that far off, either... > Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your order?" > Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order." > Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?" > Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's > 6102049998-45-54610." > Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 > Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. > Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 > and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling > from, sir?" > Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?" > Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir." > Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your > All-Meat Special pizzas..." > Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir." > Customer: "Whaddya mean?" > Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got > very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your > National Health Care provider won't allow such > an unhealthy choice." > Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?" > Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm > sure you'll like it" > Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?" > Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from > your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the >suggestion." > Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, > then. What's the damage?" > Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your > four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes >$49.99." > Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number." > Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in > cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit." > Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before > your driver gets here." > Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's > overdrawn." > Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash > ready. How long will it take?" > Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 > minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up > while you're out getting the cash, but carrying > pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward." > Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?" > Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, > so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just > assumed that you'd be using it." > Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!" > Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've > already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop." > Customer: (Speechless) > Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?" > Customer: "No, nothing. oh, yeah, don't forget the two free > liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas." > Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause > prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics."